Comments byINTRANSIT, 1741–1760 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

on The Bomb by anitawit 9 Nov 2002, 1:53 PM
This is pretty good. I hope your "grey cells" aren't cancerous or infectious or anything.
on candela by poetic-chaos 9 Nov 2002, 1:41 PM
Assuming this is ending on a positive note, I like it.
on Plastic People by cosmiccantinaguy 9 Nov 2002, 1:37 PM
Well, there goes my theory about bums having the most freedom! HA! What was I thinking? 8 for your eye-poking the rich and "synthetic infection"
on Search of Love by loneshadow29 9 Nov 2002, 1:18 PM
Damn! Damn good! Hua!
replying on Returning by INTRANSIT 7 Nov 2002, 7:10 AM
Well, shit. I didn't realize just how much repetetive stuff I had jammed into this. One last edit before I exhaust my energy on this. Gotta see zzinnia about another piece. Thanks Christof.
on Some Things by Christof 7 Nov 2002, 6:46 AM
Boy are the girls gonna love this! I see what you mean about compressing lines together. I think I can afford to do that. Oh how I wish I could relate to all that goes on here. I can read though, I suppose that gives me an advantage. Nice work, as usual. I forgot that libraries can be sensual.(Thanks N.J.) Gotta work on my piece about an old building I "loved" when I was younger. Interestins swap of characters here too. I'll round up.
replying on Returning by INTRANSIT 7 Nov 2002, 6:16 AM
Thanks, it still needs editing? Less is more? Gotta make some calls. Back in a minute.
replying on Returning by INTRANSIT 7 Nov 2002, 6:09 AM
Question: Did you see the 1st draft before all the comments?
replying on Returning by INTRANSIT 7 Nov 2002, 6:05 AM
Wow! Feed back a go-go! Hang on. Gotta think a minute.
replying on Returning by INTRANSIT 7 Nov 2002, 6:03 AM
Ok I did some shuffeling, some deletions but I replaced the "tortured" line. It feels better even to me now. Your opinion?
replying on Returning by INTRANSIT 6 Nov 2002, 6:40 PM
Christ! Sorry to have wasted your time. I'm not near as educated as you seem to be. I'm a long haul truck driver and this is what it feels like to return home to my wonderful wife after 6-8 weeks gone. I do appreciate the info and comments. How else would I improve?
replying on Returning by INTRANSIT 6 Nov 2002, 6:18 PM
Delete everything from the caps down? Why I ask? For educational purposes please.
replying on Returning by INTRANSIT 6 Nov 2002, 6:12 PM
For what it's worth, I edited. Redundancy bit me in the ass. Revote?
on everyone sucks. by kliq 6 Nov 2002, 5:47 AM
I like the message. I think it could use some dressing up though.
on You'll Never Hear by confuzdlilgirl 5 Nov 2002, 3:25 PM
It's good to feel, but don't let it consume you. Walk with us, slowly, and you'll be fine. Both pieces are emotionally saturated. You have pattern and rythm though, something I struggle for. 5/5
on OUR FUTURE? by kliq 5 Nov 2002, 3:16 PM
Then I guess you'd better go outside and play while you still can. I don't know about you, but I aint givin up my spirit. I like pickles anyway. For the effort...
replying on bad boy taylor by rosiebailey 4 Nov 2002, 12:17 PM
didn't say it was.
on Stranger by feathers68 4 Nov 2002, 12:15 PM
um, stanza 2 was repetetive of stanza 1 I thought. the word "pain" bugged me. Great theme I'd agree, and zzinnia's right too. It'll help deepen your work.
on Got Balls? by Yardbird 4 Nov 2002, 12:00 PM
I don't care if this has value or not. I laughed till my face stiffened. Value enough for me.
on arise by daniella 4 Nov 2002, 11:56 AM
Well assembled too, I might add. Nothing like a boost in the right direction, either.