A poet is someone who uses words to communicate, for such a person to sabotage the meanings of words is a bit like sawing off the branch that is holding you up. A sonnet is a set form, if you wish to design a new form, do so, but have the dignity to devise your own name for it as well instead of trying to steal the grandeur of those, who in their respect of the form made it great, and thus gave it the accolades you seek to touch by erroneously naming your poem a sonnet. Sonnet forms that are not regularly used by a large number of quality poets are little more than illusory shadows in the corners of deluded minds

OK here is an alternative ending, drop off the last stanza in the above and read

Climbing up a rocky stair to a hill top dry and bare,
in the misty morning’s music rested he a moment rare,
and in sleeping quietly muttered; “What is there in life that’s fair?”

Dreaming deeply ‘til a seer with a light both pure and clear,
showed him beauty boldly beating in the loves he held most dear,
knew he then how life was fair, how darkness only was his fear
and with life lightly returning shed in joy a perfect tear.


Also I think I'll change the title "Inner Forest"

Yes I had a big arguement with myself about the ending, and eventually I somehow convinced myself I was writing about Poe and that he never found the answers he was looking for so I let it cycle, but I may change it yet. I would be interested in other peoples opinions.

Note also seer should be sear, and there should be no semicolon in S5

Dear Shuushin,
No problem on the crits, it is what the poem is here for, there are plenty of sites where they only dish out 'encouragement'. It helps me to look at th poem anew.

What Golden Tablets? As far as I know they only ever existed in Joseph's imagination, the angel taking them back to heaven is just a cover up, one more lie to top all the others.

Dear ~
Your apollogy does you credit, no hard feelings, I am not perfect either.

Hi Suushin,
To take you comments as they come, I am sorry it didn't grab you, this is an experimental write for me, and I do have my audience of choice in mind. Funny you should suggest that the line "Jesus made Pilot feel uncomfortable" might be a forced rhyme, it was in the early drafts as an unrhymed, or unpaired line and I only added the trouble line much later.

Thanks for liking the last stanza. As for the IP, as I said to someone else, I deliberately stepped out of it in order to provide some relief. I fall into it so naturally it takes real effort to write anything of length and not use it, but it does get a bit soporific after a while. That is not to say my efforts worked, just to say what I thought I was trying to do.

Hywel,
I am sorry you didn't like the irregularity of the rhyming, it was deliberate,as was the descent from IP on occasions, it is actually easier to write perfect rhymes, at least for me at this stage of my poetic development. I am glad you liked the poem as a whole however.

While it is hard to take anyone who considers Joseph Smith an important philosophical figure seriously I will reply.

Aristotle may be a fair question, but Socrates would have been a much better one and I did feel I was letting an old lover down in not mentioning him, I may revise for his sake.

If Shang Tsung exists outside of the world of Mortal Combat I would like to know more of him

Dear Nameless Entity,
thankyou for the correction on Pilate, the only other spelling error I find is the extra r in harassed, a late word change, I would be grateful if you could point the other desperate misspellings.