replying on A Countercultural Trip by peaceseeker
9 Oct 2003, 12:10 PM
needs a butress
on Never Love A Poet by Caducus
9 Oct 2003, 9:02 AM
first verse is the best, a very eccentric rhyming scheme but it seems to work.
A small criticism is the use of a narrative too much, rather than setting the scene and letting the reader infer. When the poet takes the interpetation away from the reader, the reader feels like he is prying.
Other than that good stuff
A small criticism is the use of a narrative too much, rather than setting the scene and letting the reader infer. When the poet takes the interpetation away from the reader, the reader feels like he is prying.
Other than that good stuff
on A History of Truth by Blue Magpie
9 Oct 2003, 7:43 AM
don't like the rhyming, it seem arbitrary.
Other than that I like it. Reads like a kind of thesis in verse.
Glad you mentioned emerson
So many ace lines, my favourite is' To swim is so much harder than to float or clasp the nearest rock and say that this is now my truth' a nice little half rhyme too.
Not too didactic either which is quite a feat for a poem about truth
Other than that I like it. Reads like a kind of thesis in verse.
Glad you mentioned emerson
So many ace lines, my favourite is' To swim is so much harder than to float or clasp the nearest rock and say that this is now my truth' a nice little half rhyme too.
Not too didactic either which is quite a feat for a poem about truth
on Ecohippie by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
9 Oct 2003, 7:35 AM
'I curse my parents for sending me,
To a respectable school.'
Too true
To a respectable school.'
Too true
on the way things are goin' by irishfolksuicide
2 Oct 2003, 7:34 AM
Ten witnesses; one, to stretch the ten seconds.
It is reckoned ten leaps, to let a long drag
It is reckoned ten leaps, to let a long drag
on The Light by the_unknown_angel83
25 Sep 2003, 1:00 PM
like the transcription of an adolescent hissy fit.
on Here I go again by tadpole
25 Sep 2003, 12:57 PM
Not too much that could be criticised by DA's mediocre poetry chart here. In that sense this is refreshing.
Nothing to really grab but pleasant as a summers day.
Nothing to really grab but pleasant as a summers day.
on Your Inner Ear by razorgrin
25 Sep 2003, 12:54 PM
yes, if only all science lessons were given in haiku, or vilanelle or tanka or the like. We could all be happy in the knowledge that we would never have to go to english class again.
on "I post here cause I have a lot of readers" by Bachus
25 Sep 2003, 4:40 AM
Demonstrating such a wide understanding of different cultures
on body image by http://mulberryfairy
25 Sep 2003, 4:33 AM
Kudos to you, you have the blue 1/10 before you even have the good marks this poem deserves.
on Little Girl by Pervy Elf
25 Sep 2003, 4:31 AM
ok the go ahead little girl sets a very creepy tone.
You seem to switch from concerned (kind of) to the abuser 'blame everyone except yourself' though and it tales off a bit at the end could be snappier.
You seem to switch from concerned (kind of) to the abuser 'blame everyone except yourself' though and it tales off a bit at the end could be snappier.
on The War Jesse Owen style by oldschool
25 Sep 2003, 4:26 AM
Well put together and all that but this seems too political.
There is no emotion, the best war poem line I have read is ' red lips are not so red/ as the stained stones kissed/ by the english dead- wilfred owen.
Because it communicated something, is apolitical.
This is a bit too dogmatic
Well hung together though
There is no emotion, the best war poem line I have read is ' red lips are not so red/ as the stained stones kissed/ by the english dead- wilfred owen.
Because it communicated something, is apolitical.
This is a bit too dogmatic
Well hung together though
on Performer by http://mulberryfairy
12 Jul 2003, 11:59 AM
coming back to the bus driver again doesnt relly work.
other than that I liked the bit about interuption of bus ride hush. And the first verse packs a lot of context in
other than that I liked the bit about interuption of bus ride hush. And the first verse packs a lot of context in