Never said better.

Good images. The meter hold true throughout until the end. I guess if you're going to break rhythm that's the place to do it. But, somehow, the loss of those two beats at the end of the last line is disconcerting.

I never see rabbits when I'm driving at night unless they are wearing red, reflective tape. You have a good eye.

Great rant. I may disagree but appreciate your POV.

Could use some paring

Yeah, but who got custody of the kids and the calves? I've never divorced a place but now I have an idea of how it might feel. -10-
Don't listen to Z. He's an enigma trapped within a foil condom wrapper being nuked in a microwave oven and arcing all over the small cooking space. Let's just watch the fireworks through the window and shout, "Whoopee! Burn, Baby, burn!" Then we can flush him down the john and make some lowfat popcorn, cover it with melted butter and watch "Fried Green Tomatoes and Akira Kurasawa's "Dreams" back to back.

KIDS, PLAY NICE or daddy will delete the poem and you'll have to play at someone else's house.

Thank you, both.

Seems like you sucked one poet into taking the position you sought-- Open fly hook with a plastic jesus hanging from a fishing line of gold nylon. Reel 'im in, Dovina. Flop him onto the deck and hit him on the head with a bowling pin. Then multiply him with your loaves. Ah men!

Line 9 will never happen if you let the candles burn to cake. Blow them out with one breath.

YOU WILL NOT THE LAST WORD

Huh? You don't do typos. So, I'm missing something.
-9- until I get the point beyond the obvious.

I was going to give it a -10-. But after I noticed EP gave it a nine, I decided that he might have more enzyte, I mean, insight.-9-

Lines that need work:

siempre me ama

Cuando mi cabeza vola a nuestro futura

Y lo encuentro con todo de mí

En tus sueños, bailas con migo
Como en mis sueños yo bailo con tigo

Great effort.-9-

I feel odd being in such august commenting company. Just proves that poetry crosses all lines, especially the line between the sane and the not. By the way, using that word 'latent' on this site is an invitation to latex nights spent in dark fecal caves.

Forms suck. Give me a big dangling modifier any day of the week over "an poetic form."

Best expression on teenage angst yet.

Is it 'voices' promising us life as the wind drives the heavy, cold, dead clouds? What are the voices saying? I may be missing a key point, I admit. I am not good with nature. If this were about a 1957 Chevy BelAir, I'd have a better grasp of the subject matter. But I like the sound of the words blowing around in this poem.

Contemporary takes artifical sweetner. -10-
Religion takes bread and wine.

Is flob a typo? shouldn't it be "Blob alob, alob?" Nice ending.

Very good. I notice the period and then the QUIM. At times it seems that life is more about the periods than about the Quim. Well, there's always the foreign "Poontang" to look into.