on Ten by horus8
23 May 2004, 11:13 AM
A donut lying next to a maple bar on a plate next to linen-wrapped silverware after a weight watcher meeting when you find out you've gained__ lbs.
on Ricochets (Double Ethere) by MacFrantic
23 May 2004, 5:48 PM
Nice form. Well executed. Content eludes me. Maybe that's a good thing. I rarely like a poem at first 10 reads. Maybe by line 10-1 I'll get it.
on some deleted poem
24 May 2004, 7:37 PM
Very current.
on some deleted poem
24 May 2004, 7:42 PM
A lot of butt in this one.
on the greatest moment that never existed by thepinkbunnyofdoom
24 May 2004, 7:54 PM
I've forgottn why this poem should bother me. It's something in my past or in my future but it isn't happening now. Maybe that's a good thing.
on some deleted poem
5 Apr 2004, 5:11 PM
If truth is a measure of a good poem, then, by all means, this is a ten.
on Then again who really fucked me over by Freethinker1602
5 Apr 2004, 5:15 PM
Passionate.
on some deleted poem
10 Apr 2004, 9:13 AM
Hey, Shushin. Didn't mean to delete your comment. Thanks for the good input. I always seem to use too much to say too little. I'll work on it.
on The Idea of Fusion at the Beach (After Wallace Stevens) by coffeespoons
14 Apr 2004, 7:46 PM
"we sound like nothing but the wind"
Great thought because that's our job-- to teach the wind to speak.
Great thought because that's our job-- to teach the wind to speak.
on 03/30/04 by Lifeboatman
19 Apr 2004, 8:08 AM
Yeah, I know what you mean. I think you are capable of saying it better. But it stands at a '8' on its own. Thanks for not making it as long as my wordy verses.
on some deleted poem
19 Apr 2004, 8:17 AM
God is a target like New Orleans-- Big, Easy. I'm tired of all this worry about God, Jesus, Allah, etc. I'd rather read about your last cable bill and how it reminds you of Andrew Lloyd Weber's awful mis-take on T.S. Elliot's book. T.S., now, there's a real god for you. I know someone who actually touched his terry cloth bathrobe amd was healed from his own obsession with words. Meow.
on some deleted poem
20 Apr 2004, 7:16 PM
Mood or truth? Hmmm...Both? No, it's Or. '8'
on some deleted poem
24 Apr 2004, 2:00 AM
My city is Frost's woods and pastures. Thanks for listening to my god. DgB
on some deleted poem
23 Apr 2004, 7:32 PM
A telling tale told well.
Until the lines, "Having your children...
Watching you play with them...", I thought the poem was about being dropped off at the first day of school (September). I had to re-read to get the sense. As I was once told by an ex-marine after I read a similar poem i had written, "Dan, I felt just like that once... a couple of times." Of course it is not possible to feel this a couple of times. The first time kills your ability to feel that exact thing forever. I think he meant to say that he has felt that way about different things. The future holds lots of different things for us. Let us hope some of them are good things... at least, a couple of times.
Watching you play with them...", I thought the poem was about being dropped off at the first day of school (September). I had to re-read to get the sense. As I was once told by an ex-marine after I read a similar poem i had written, "Dan, I felt just like that once... a couple of times." Of course it is not possible to feel this a couple of times. The first time kills your ability to feel that exact thing forever. I think he meant to say that he has felt that way about different things. The future holds lots of different things for us. Let us hope some of them are good things... at least, a couple of times.
on some deleted poem
9 May 2004, 9:27 AM
Chance has no memory.
People have memory.
People remember the date and time.
Chance has no calendar.
I have forgotten the point to what I was saying.
But I have a pertinent comment.
"Isn't this a lovely poem Mr. DgB?"
"Oh yeah, yeah."
People have memory.
People remember the date and time.
Chance has no calendar.
I have forgotten the point to what I was saying.
But I have a pertinent comment.
"Isn't this a lovely poem Mr. DgB?"
"Oh yeah, yeah."
The only pictures I see on sills are through the window pane. To see this one, I am standing out on the fire escape looking in on your poem. Is this the perspective from which you were writing this poem? I like the thought of that. Please don't tell me "no." There's an intimacy attached to the thought of looking into other's windows. I just hope I don't get caught. Good.
on some deleted poem
19 May 2004, 7:55 AM
The way the poem is laid out reminds me of a song by "Lit." You understand it to mean different things until the entire sentence is sung.
" You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable."
I think it was their only good song. Your poem is better because of all the bodies in the tree house (pine box?).
" You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable."
I think it was their only good song. Your poem is better because of all the bodies in the tree house (pine box?).
on some deleted poem
22 May 2004, 12:56 PM
You must be un-insane to write this. Country or "Yanni-esue?"