on some deleted poem
2 May 2003, 12:48 PM
Thoughtful, contemplative. I like your poetry v. much. 9
on Procession by Fear of Garbage
27 Apr 2003, 6:34 AM
Strange, yet beautiful in a weird kind of way.
I wouldn't trust an undertaker either. 8
I wouldn't trust an undertaker either. 8
on Baby-sitting by Bobjim the II
29 Apr 2003, 10:29 AM
No.
on Expectant by Bobjim the II
29 Apr 2003, 10:30 AM
No.
on You wash up, I forget. by Bachus
7 May 2003, 12:12 PM
Yep, as with your last few I enjoyed this one a great deal. Really well done. 8
on Lifestyles of the ripe and glamourless by horus8
7 May 2003, 12:17 PM
Not deserving a blue 1, I wish people would say why they give these low marks but hey that's just me being a whiny Brit. Great poem, I wanted to give it an 8 but instead it shall have a nine to try to balance the anonymosity.
on some deleted poem
7 May 2003, 12:23 PM
For so long this will make me think...I believe that slightly more clarity would help the dumbasses like myself to understand, but talk to god'swife for advice on things like this. It's very nice anyway. 8
I particularly like the ending, as with much of your stuff it seems dreamy, somewhat detached (don't know that I spell that right either) and quietly contemplative which I like in poetry.
I particularly like the ending, as with much of your stuff it seems dreamy, somewhat detached (don't know that I spell that right either) and quietly contemplative which I like in poetry.
on some deleted poem
2 May 2003, 12:31 PM
Short, definitive, to the point...yet somewhat unfulfilling. I have grown to expect great things from a Gentleman such as yourself, especially with those Prawnes of which I now understand the truth about the Viet Cong.
Etc.
Etc.
on some deleted poem
2 May 2003, 12:54 PM
Alright, but not so good in places. Line 12 especially must go. 9-11 are quite nice.
Unfortunately this doesn't go anywhere though, it needs a purpose. Keep trying.
(I didn't give you the blue 3 by the way)
Unfortunately this doesn't go anywhere though, it needs a purpose. Keep trying.
(I didn't give you the blue 3 by the way)
on Sir John Betjeman is dead Nicholas. by Bachus
2 May 2003, 1:05 PM
*sniff* Beautiful...so true to life. Fucking English cunts. Can't stand them.
Heh heh heh...made me laugh mucho, I see you have an 8 and a 10 so let the average roll. 9
Heh heh heh...made me laugh mucho, I see you have an 8 and a 10 so let the average roll. 9
A sweetly written piece. I know you must love to write but submitting 3 or 4 at a time won't get you that far. Contain your poetry and submit it in smaller, bitesize chunks and let us savour each morsel. Right I'm talking bollocks now, I'll shut up. Don't cheer.
Nice song anyway.
Nice song anyway.
on kruder&dorfmeister by rockinindividual
2 May 2003, 1:19 PM
Nice, opener is wicked. What more can I say? 9
I would love for you to let me know what you think of my latest effort, the fairytale one.
I would love for you to let me know what you think of my latest effort, the fairytale one.
on some deleted poem
2 May 2003, 12:35 PM
Definitely would work as a song although I feel that it started better than it finished. Is there music to it yet? Also rhyming me with be twice will not go down too great on this site. Aside from that though, I like it a lot!
on some deleted poem
29 Apr 2003, 10:39 AM
Sweet, calm and slightly wistful. I love this.
Here's how it is: I like the content very much, but the timing is dodgy in places. For example change line 10 to simply 'leaving regrets', have a look through it and you will see what needs reducing. I expect you will reedit this one too so shall save my vote for the time being.
on some deleted poem
27 Apr 2003, 6:54 AM
Um, if the subject has already died, don't give them an active role in the physical world, except for possibly getting decomposed and eaten by small worms.
If the subject hasn't already died, don't say that they have.
Having said that, upon a further read I can see that maybe the reason nobody takes the subject's hand is because the subject is dead and nobody wants to hold hands with a dead person. How cunning.
I think you're probably right about needing more work.
What's with all the capitals?
If the subject hasn't already died, don't say that they have.
Having said that, upon a further read I can see that maybe the reason nobody takes the subject's hand is because the subject is dead and nobody wants to hold hands with a dead person. How cunning.
I think you're probably right about needing more work.
What's with all the capitals?
on some deleted poem
27 Apr 2003, 7:00 AM
*blinks*
Wow. 10
Wow again.
Wow. 10
Wow again.
on he was the one i had written about before i met him 2 by rockinindividual
2 May 2003, 1:21 PM
I love it.
on some deleted poem
26 Apr 2003, 4:09 AM
Nice!