on some deleted poem
13 Apr 2003, 7:10 AM
Nice use of contemporary language, not enough of this on poem ranker.
This is a poem i can jump straight into
-8-
This is a poem i can jump straight into
-8-
on some deleted poem
13 Apr 2003, 7:14 AM
'alas now i am dying beyond my means' sticks out grabs me immediately.
on Down Lovers Lane by Mr Pig
8 Apr 2003, 11:22 AM
good wordplay as ever
great flow
A few cliches near the end 'tangerine skies'
and 'moon turns to rust' doesn't seem to mean anything.
I dont think the poem would lose much if you binned them.
As for dandelion fairies, a perfectly fair description.
great flow
A few cliches near the end 'tangerine skies'
and 'moon turns to rust' doesn't seem to mean anything.
I dont think the poem would lose much if you binned them.
As for dandelion fairies, a perfectly fair description.
on Fraternity hazing the sheepdog by horus8
8 Apr 2003, 11:26 AM
like the lamb stood dead line
perversely fun imagery excellent
perversely fun imagery excellent
on Februarys mother by INTRANSIT
11 Apr 2003, 10:38 AM
Nice, cant pick any faults
Maybe a bit short
I think a killer line might make this poem,
I hope you find one
Maybe a bit short
I think a killer line might make this poem,
I hope you find one
on some deleted poem
18 Jun 2002, 10:35 AM
Wonderful in comment and only 3/10 !
Its about a first life where someone lays their bed and a second life where choices come home to roost as the person is cursed to repeat their language and behaviour when they need people (parallel with dementia - unable to form new memories/ behaviours)
Its about a first life where someone lays their bed and a second life where choices come home to roost as the person is cursed to repeat their language and behaviour when they need people (parallel with dementia - unable to form new memories/ behaviours)
on some deleted poem
10 Jun 2002, 11:38 AM
I'm only a beginner I need some help here!
this flows well
No mean feat