replying on Recycled Stardust by Quarton
7 Jul 2004, 11:10 AM
To say the world behaved in a quantum-like manner when scientists believed in the newton model is to say given the presence of only the newton model, that the world worked according to the newton model when scientists believed in the previous model.
i.e. you can only make such an assertion knowing all future models, which you can not and which is probably logically impossible.
N.B. love the way you addressed the difficulties of the whole reality concept thingy by putting the word in quotation marks.
i.e. you can only make such an assertion knowing all future models, which you can not and which is probably logically impossible.
N.B. love the way you addressed the difficulties of the whole reality concept thingy by putting the word in quotation marks.
replying on Forbidden by Chasz Misleading
6 Jul 2004, 11:06 AM
with you on the second verse.
A little confused, perhaps because you change from relating a story of a friend almost to first person shouting at the whore.
The abstemiousness bragged its supremacy is intriguing, but again the justification seems bogged down in badly managed sentence structure.
The abstemiousness bragged its supremacy is intriguing, but again the justification seems bogged down in badly managed sentence structure.
on Urbane Jane by MacFrantic
6 Jul 2004, 10:55 AM
Perhaps needs to be a bit punchier. Like 'steal glances at unbecoming' and the final couplet.
on Your sad goodbye by sanity
4 Jul 2004, 5:37 AM
Cute enough nice sounds, the last two lines of each verse are a nice innovation.
on War of kites and fireflies by fevriere
4 Jul 2004, 5:34 AM
Like this too, the incense bit was confusing yes. And 'The almost-steel night thieves gold.' I can see where you are going but as a single sentence is difficult to grasp. But yes did I say I like it.
replying on Recycled Stardust by Quarton
3 Jul 2004, 12:42 AM
I am sure your poems mean wonderful things to you, and this is not meant as a criticism of you, but read godswife, zzinnia, poetandknowit, christof and you will find great attention to engage the reader, to not make sweeping statements but to make subtle insights.
on Niggers Don't Write Poetry by pain killer
28 Jun 2004, 2:50 PM
If you wrote this in negrese it would better convey that this poeme is about some negro (you) slagging of 'honkies' for misappropriating his 'culture'. Which would be incredibly deep.
Also it is axl rose. There is an easy anagram to help you remember for goodness sake.
Also it is axl rose. There is an easy anagram to help you remember for goodness sake.
First verse does not make a whole lot of sense.
1) Who is this new squaw the past has forgotten, how does past have a wife.
2) To consumate their raven joining-- 'their' can only refer to the squaw and the past. So how come they are being joined when his new squaw has been forgotten.
3) How can was ever be new, it is the past.
Verse 2, talking about christ as an abstraction invented by people to fulfill a need is just trite. It has been said a million times before, and offers a side of the argument but no insight.
1) Who is this new squaw the past has forgotten, how does past have a wife.
2) To consumate their raven joining-- 'their' can only refer to the squaw and the past. So how come they are being joined when his new squaw has been forgotten.
3) How can was ever be new, it is the past.
Verse 2, talking about christ as an abstraction invented by people to fulfill a need is just trite. It has been said a million times before, and offers a side of the argument but no insight.
replying on Quiet, Kind Hills by Dovina
22 Jun 2004, 12:33 PM
'"Helpful" is anything above 0'.
Boll'cks.
Boll'cks.
replying on I must be out of my mind by thepinkbunnyofdoom
22 Jun 2004, 11:34 AM
ace, you have had over a year to think up that reply. -m10m-
replying on Phoebus by SupremeDreamer
20 Jun 2004, 12:46 PM
No serious, there seems to be so many fragments that seem to be unnanounced: Methylated vapours, fresh-spilt blood, freaky brainspace. Just seems out of kilter.
on Phoebus by SupremeDreamer
19 Jun 2004, 12:04 PM
Like the first two verses in terms of their lyricism. And most of the rest of it, its just the parts of the poem 'revealing yourself' seems a bit removed. Especially verse three.
on Phoebus by SupremeDreamer
19 Jun 2004, 11:57 AM
Sliver: 19jun04--9:10am
'no matter how hard we try, I'm a mutton shunter we will always reveal at least a part of who we are in whatever we write'
'no matter how hard we try, I'm a mutton shunter we will always reveal at least a part of who we are in whatever we write'
replying on Randomness by QuirkyWonder
17 Jun 2004, 5:36 AM
Only if as your premise you accept that opinions can be right or wrong.
on The Ocean Prefers A Sunset by wilco
12 Jun 2004, 3:03 PM
Would echo than dancing is redundant (getting rid of it brings out the alliteration of 'waltzes with' better too).
Listless sand - nope, you need to show what the sand is doing to make you think it is listless.
Last verse; death, birth, yearn, beautiful, smile are a touch unimaginative.
Good though, well written.
Listless sand - nope, you need to show what the sand is doing to make you think it is listless.
Last verse; death, birth, yearn, beautiful, smile are a touch unimaginative.
Good though, well written.
Is no get out because you claim that the world did not work in a newton-model-like way when scientists believed in newtons model. By throwing out the newton model you are using very strict standards of usefulness which you must apply to the Quantum model.
Also I have consistently said what you have said in your final sentences. I would go as far as to say any description that does not regard light (and we are not encompassing the physical properties of light) as purely light is making a jump accross modes that could be regarded as metaphysical.
I've changed my mind about Quartons poem, as far as I am concerned he can write it about Newtonian mechanics if he wants. If he maintains internal consistency the poem does not fail. 'Call the roller of big cigars' I say to him.