on Leaving Song by wilco
17 Sep 2005, 9:52 AM
I can relate. Short but oh so true.
replying on Leaving Song by wilco
17 Sep 2005, 9:49 AM
Let's see. 2 plus 1 is only 3. You're still in trouble.
on Rapid Eye Movement by wilco
17 Sep 2005, 9:43 AM
I agree with Dan. "Nothing makes the night so lonely"
seems rather awkward. Perhaps, "Nothing mkes the dream alive" Just a thought and a ten by my reckoning.
seems rather awkward. Perhaps, "Nothing mkes the dream alive" Just a thought and a ten by my reckoning.
zodiac,
I believe the big bang or singularity as being the beginning
of evolution and resulting in humans over a period of over
13 billion years. I also believe there exist countless other
universes spread out over space/time. It seems improbable that
ours is the only one.
I believe the big bang or singularity as being the beginning
of evolution and resulting in humans over a period of over
13 billion years. I also believe there exist countless other
universes spread out over space/time. It seems improbable that
ours is the only one.
on One Moment to the Other (v3) by nentwined
14 Sep 2005, 12:49 PM
Excellent. The rhyme is unforced and content profound.
on Ack Bassward, or something like that by thepinkbunnyofdoom
30 May 2005, 8:18 PM
Sorry about the criticism of your poem. I Was
in a lousy mood and after reading it again, it
does have merit though it would work better if
you said more with less.)
in a lousy mood and after reading it again, it
does have merit though it would work better if
you said more with less.)
on Crossing the Mojave by INTRANSIT
25 May 2005, 4:21 PM
A solid nine. Fascinating!
on A Flower for Monet by Shuushin
25 May 2005, 4:06 PM
Quite simply elegant and I don't impress easily. The
best I have read at this site.
best I have read at this site.
replying on A Child Once More by Quarton
13 Jul 2004, 11:43 AM
Yes, the rhyme is diffiult and for most, it is best avoided. Frost, Blake and other earlier poets used rhyme almost exclusively but they were in a different league than me. Still, it has a certain appeal if the words are not forced and the meter is evident. Most of the poems I read online use rhyme and are generally quite awful. In fact, I almost always encourage dropping the rhyme in favor of free verse so your suggestions only reinforce what I already know. Yet, I continue to write an occasional rhyming poem even though I know it will probably be rightly criticized. Thanks for the comments.
on Are You Experienced? by EAger to Offend
8 Jul 2004, 12:10 PM
Tho I'm not exactly sure what in hell you are staying, I am sure enough to give this a 9. Interesting!
on Battlefield, Girl. by LucidRevelation
8 Jul 2004, 11:58 AM
Forget the rhyme and try free verse. Also, an economy
of words would improve this. Try to say more with less words.
of words would improve this. Try to say more with less words.
on Charter Of Rights by EAger to Offend
8 Jul 2004, 11:52 AM
I like the message in this piece and agree. One minor nitpick. I would delete the "off" so it would read, "who venture to new worlds for peace."
on Ulterior Not Alterior by MacFrantic
8 Jul 2004, 11:44 AM
Not bad but you should avoid cliches such as "beyond a shadow of a doubt" and "damaged goods" and "universal truths." Oh, also "any way you put it." Be original as much as possible.
replying on Tapestry Years by Quarton
8 Jul 2004, 11:30 AM
Are you talking about changing words or deleting them or just
changing the punctuation?
changing the punctuation?
replying on Absolute Truth (about Quarton) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
6 Jul 2004, 8:09 PM
And before you get started, I know my little poem only has
4 lines.
4 lines.
replying on Absolute Truth (about Quarton) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
6 Jul 2004, 7:52 PM
and please don't tell me I mispelled "here." I think its time for
bed. You guys have worn me out.
bed. You guys have worn me out.
on Absolute Truth (about Quarton) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
6 Jul 2004, 7:48 PM
What can I say but a ten. If I wasn't me, I'd even have a good laugh. (actually, I had one anyway.)
I love limericks. Hear is one you might like:
There was a young lady from Bright,
who traveled much faster than light.
She departed one day, in a relative way
and arrived on the previous night.
I love limericks. Hear is one you might like:
There was a young lady from Bright,
who traveled much faster than light.
She departed one day, in a relative way
and arrived on the previous night.
on Recycled Stardust by Quarton
6 Jul 2004, 7:20 PM
I will try one more time in reference to reality and give you another chance to ridicule me. But, this will be my final post on the subject.
The basic oneness of the universe is one of the most important revelations of modern physics. At the subatomic particle level, all things are interrelated, interconneted and interdependent. Reality is an abstraction devised by our discriminating and categorizing intellects. To believe our concepts of separate things and events are realities of nature is an illusion, plain and simple. If you don't believe me, then you don't believe in quantum mechanics, period, and all of your arguments have no basis in fact. If you don't know this basic truth, then you should avoid the subject rather than expose your ignorance which so far, has been considerable.
The basic oneness of the universe is one of the most important revelations of modern physics. At the subatomic particle level, all things are interrelated, interconneted and interdependent. Reality is an abstraction devised by our discriminating and categorizing intellects. To believe our concepts of separate things and events are realities of nature is an illusion, plain and simple. If you don't believe me, then you don't believe in quantum mechanics, period, and all of your arguments have no basis in fact. If you don't know this basic truth, then you should avoid the subject rather than expose your ignorance which so far, has been considerable.
replying on Recycled Stardust by Quarton
6 Jul 2004, 2:39 PM
Reality is a human concept. Should humanity cease to exist, so
too would reality. And the physical world Has changed and will
continue to do so as we expand our knowledge. Our reality today
may be rubbish tomorrow and what is left will be the oneness of
all that we perceive to be separate. Kinda like the quantum
effect where the parts are only manifestations of the whole.
too would reality. And the physical world Has changed and will
continue to do so as we expand our knowledge. Our reality today
may be rubbish tomorrow and what is left will be the oneness of
all that we perceive to be separate. Kinda like the quantum
effect where the parts are only manifestations of the whole.
very good lines and I like the narrative form you chose.