on Ode to a Depleted Uranium Shell by Yardbird
4 Dec 2002, 4:24 AM
Very clever. Very thought-provoking.
on All is Just a Crush by confuzdlilgirl
4 Dec 2002, 4:07 AM
Quite brilliant. Beautifully composed
on Ode to the Severn Bridge by Gwyrfab
4 Dec 2002, 4:22 AM
Heh and who gets more money per capita from Westminster AND Brussels - the English or the Welsh? Come on, you are above this petty nationalism. You are a good writer with some sensible targets. Hating the English is so parochial.
on Suburban Horror by phbiscuit
4 Dec 2002, 4:14 AM
I love this. Sole flaw is the plural on speak (s). Could you re-work the line? Something like "Retreating when my neighbor cares to speak"
on The Dreamer by Nicholas Jones
4 Dec 2002, 4:16 AM
Quite lovely. I forgive you all the inexact rhymes
on i got a really big fan by Flattop
4 Dec 2002, 4:19 AM
Wonderful light verse
on Living Conditions by Christof
3 Dec 2002, 1:49 PM
Demonstrates a sure touch with language but I am just not sure it has worked as well as your other effort on which I have commented.
on Cancer Haikus by poetandknowit
3 Dec 2002, 1:56 PM
Wonderful stuff (again)
on Instructions to a Sculptor by Christof
3 Dec 2002, 1:58 PM
So well crafted
on Never Alone at Night by Limness
4 Dec 2002, 3:03 AM
Dear Limness,
Thank you for your reply to my comments. Thank you also for introducing "quietus" to me. I would still contend it is the wrong choice of word because while the end of relationship was a quietus for him, it was not for you in any sense of the word (there appear to be two). Hell, you are in agony for the love of him. Quietus is what you need, not what you have. Secondly my other difficulty is that the word is too obscure, save for the most erudite of readers. In a poem which is so touching and well written do you really want your readers to be scrambling for the dictionary? It breaks the spell.
As to the audience you address, I find it is better to stick to one audience at a time, though having said that I am guilty myself (quite unnecessarily) in my submission Tribute to A Friend, which is written in the manner of Hilaire belloc. I am a new member of this poet's circle and I have only just submitted three poems yesterday. My others are Hattie and Party Mugging (AAgain). Please be so kind as to have a peek. Best wishes. NB You are very good.
Thank you for your reply to my comments. Thank you also for introducing "quietus" to me. I would still contend it is the wrong choice of word because while the end of relationship was a quietus for him, it was not for you in any sense of the word (there appear to be two). Hell, you are in agony for the love of him. Quietus is what you need, not what you have. Secondly my other difficulty is that the word is too obscure, save for the most erudite of readers. In a poem which is so touching and well written do you really want your readers to be scrambling for the dictionary? It breaks the spell.
As to the audience you address, I find it is better to stick to one audience at a time, though having said that I am guilty myself (quite unnecessarily) in my submission Tribute to A Friend, which is written in the manner of Hilaire belloc. I am a new member of this poet's circle and I have only just submitted three poems yesterday. My others are Hattie and Party Mugging (AAgain). Please be so kind as to have a peek. Best wishes. NB You are very good.
on On waiting to pick up my daughter on Tuesday by poetandknowit
4 Dec 2002, 3:21 AM
Dear Sir or should I call you by your abbreviation "PK"? Thank you for your response to my comment. You have a great talent. The problem for you is that those who have read your work, (I read about four in the Best File) notice when you are not giving your all. Have you a collection you can send me by e-mail? I am a new member of this circle. And yesterday I submitted three poems which I would be most grateful for you to have a peek at. One is written in the romping style of Hilaire Belloc - best to be recited probably - Tribute to A friend. The other two are Hattie and Party Mugging (Again). May not be your sort of thing but please have a look. Best wishes, Nicholas
on Elegy for Lonnie Donegan by Nicholas Jones
4 Dec 2002, 3:36 AM
This is beautifully written. But it leans more to prose than verse. What the hell, I enjoyed it.
on the girl what gave scott the look by UAFANTHORPEY
4 Dec 2002, 3:42 AM
Dear Mr Ufanthorpey,
I contend that it is only in male dreams that women are quite so carnal and horny when gazing at a stranger. But I could be wrong.
I contend that it is only in male dreams that women are quite so carnal and horny when gazing at a stranger. But I could be wrong.
on some deleted poem
4 Dec 2002, 3:47 AM
Some lovely ideas but a sonnet is a strict taskmaster. Iambic pentameter, ten beats to the line. Alternate rhymes save the concluding two lines which of course are a couplet. Yes, I know it is hard work, but when you get it right, it is perfection and it is a sonnet.
on some deleted poem
4 Dec 2002, 3:52 AM
Wonderfully moving but I hope not true! Remember to revise the copy when pasting it in as a corruption process takes place - see all the ???s above. My only quibble is with some of the rhymes but then I am pedantic.
Nicholas
Nicholas
on Surreal... by Yardbird
4 Dec 2002, 4:03 AM
This is very funny. You started to lose me though towards the end. And I live only half a mile from Fulham FC of which you spoke. What would our friends in the US make of your refenrences? It should be read by Richard E Grant in the manner of his brilliant performance in Withnail and I
on THE MISSING HEART by Prince of Void
4 Dec 2002, 4:06 AM
This is not a sonnet. Sonnet has a strict format. Re categorise it
on some deleted poem
4 Dec 2002, 4:38 AM
Very funny.