on Sonneting the samples & green eyes by Jeremi B. Handrinos
3 May 2003, 7:45 AM
interesting. almost too random. i can't quite get a hold of it. you have some wicked lines in there though. 6
on Hippy chic under the bleachers by Shardik
3 May 2003, 7:34 AM
haha. this is beautiful. 8.
on When We Parted by anitawit
3 May 2003, 7:32 AM
thats a really interesting idea. i like it. 7
on Beauty, sleeping (revised) by Ranger
2 May 2003, 5:37 PM
i really like this. it made me laugh, plus it's good poetry. it reads really smoothly...except for the "fairies, too". it just gave me a jolt like "wait a second..oh fairies..". with a better transition it would be simply wonderful! (you could even make it "my, what a big heart you have"...it seems even funnier to me) 7
replying on kruder&dorfmeister by rockinindividual
1 May 2003, 5:59 PM
yeah i made some adjustments earlier this week...they're posted now. i know what you mean about something holding it back. ive been struggling with this piece for a few weeeks now. if you still feel that way with the new changes (i still do) let me know...you just might be the thing that will set this poem free. also...the last poem i did...which one do you mean? ive written more on my sunset conversation poem...if thats what you meant. its posted as a separate version.
on My good friend Nick by Bobjim the II
28 Apr 2003, 6:05 PM
i know a guy named nick
he makes me laugh
but i think your poem makes me laugh harder
9 for well constructed vulgarity
he makes me laugh
but i think your poem makes me laugh harder
9 for well constructed vulgarity
replying on kruder&dorfmeister by rockinindividual
16 Apr 2003, 5:46 PM
if it would work better, tell me. im totally open...capitalization has only not worked in most of my other stuff. theres no bad time to start!
on FRAGILE by calilegzzz
16 Apr 2003, 1:54 PM
this is a piece of third grade crap in my opinion.
theres nothing about it that will stand out, that will make me remember it. its something i might have read before from some lovestruck wanna be elementary school poet. try again, my dear. 0.
theres nothing about it that will stand out, that will make me remember it. its something i might have read before from some lovestruck wanna be elementary school poet. try again, my dear. 0.
on a new generation by blurryphotograph
2 Apr 2003, 6:04 AM
i dont know exactly what it is about this one...but i do believe that it just may be the best poem of yours that i have ever read. in my whole entire lifetime. the whole entire 16 years. ((16!!!:)) yeah i think i would give it a SEVENTEEN. damn restrictions
on Lossing Grip by Katie2
1 Apr 2003, 12:43 PM
my first clue that this might not rock my world was that the title was spelled wrong...and i dont know, its okay, but it just seems like more of the "oh poor suicidal me lets see if i can cut myself deeper and feel better" crap that im getting sick of. plus you spelled several things wrong. however, your rhyme scheme is pretty good, its not too incredibly forced, and you do have several really good lines in there. i bet that with a little rewriting this could be extremely awesome...for now...5
on wandering, north by <~>
20 Mar 2003, 2:09 PM
mmm....its missing something, im too distanced from it for some reason. 5.
on I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' by JakeBike
20 Mar 2003, 2:08 PM
haha. that says it all. 8.
replying on iodine and baby oil by rockinindividual
19 Mar 2003, 3:06 PM
i revised this 3/19/03...hope the revisions improve it
on the salt shaker by elizabethann
18 Mar 2003, 4:51 AM
mmm thats such an interesting idea. i love it. 8
on myself by decadentlaurel
25 Jan 2003, 1:39 PM
lovely, painful...9
on The Sands Of Time by squall1leonheart
25 Jan 2003, 1:38 PM
you need to work on your spelling...and maybe reorganize it a little so its easier to read..everything just seems to blur together the way it is now...3
on Conversations with a Clock II by morffrom
25 Jan 2003, 1:37 PM
haha i love that. thats great!!...10 all the way
on The Masonic Underling & the 33 degree by horus8
25 Jan 2003, 1:33 PM
"I love you alone." thats great, i like that...6
on calendared by cobalt
25 Jan 2003, 1:30 PM
i love the "breathes length into the day" interesting image..6