Re: a comment on Front, Porch, Swing. by horus8	28-Dec-02/6:04 PM
speaking of uta hagen, we both trained under her. get it now?
Re: a comment on Front, Porch, Swing. by horus8	28-Dec-02/6:03 PM
you're forgetting billy bob too, but 'dog star', and 'dennis quaid' and the sharks aren't bad compared to the others.
Re: a comment on Front, Porch, Swing. by horus8	28-Dec-02/5:58 PM
exactly.
Re: Mountain Ash, Mid Glamorgan by Nicholas Jones	28-Dec-02/5:57 PM
beautiful.
Re: Maria by Nicholas Monson	28-Dec-02/3:23 PM
(whom to that) the woman and the whom don't work well off of eachother in the last line. still a pleasant, and stirring poem to say the least.r
Re: plain by blackball	28-Dec-02/12:21 PM
the edit still needs to be cleaned up, but i think you get the point.
Re: plain by blackball	28-Dec-02/12:18 PM
sure, i'd love to..'dada', (i don't know if i'm spelling it correctly), is poetry in a artistic shape that works on maby levels within the readers psyche, but i can give you a better example. a poem i wrote called hey, shut up and cut my grass. z wrote one shaped like a penis..but i don't think that dada is even necisarily applicable to this poetic situation, let me do an edit, try this. i was left standing, by myself holding hands with the air, the bleak moon stared down upon me and seeing that i was a solitary figure, stood aside and let me be. I watched slowly as days went by, fluttering past at an alarming rate. my life is going by too, i'm noticing nothing but you, indirect emotion lingering on your breath you didn't know what to say so you didn't say anything.a
Re: cars by mogwai	27-Dec-02/5:53 PM
no circumlocution here. tidy and real.
Re: first words by decadentlaurel	27-Dec-02/5:51 PM
shouldn't this be final thouhts?
Re: You Win by ritz1605	27-Dec-02/5:45 PM
pervert.n
Re: im playing basketball by rockinindividual	27-Dec-02/5:41 PM
this is all second act. no first or third? it needs more arc. set up your anger more, so that we know why you are mad, exactly, and more of the process you took to expose that anger and fear in order to cure it..beyond just the basketball..that's only a third of the solution. where is the other two thirds? good first draft though. here's a seven.
Re: dps 2 - new ver. by decadentlaurel	27-Dec-02/5:28 PM
very romantic and surreal. captivating visuals. a wonderful poem.e
Re: a comment on The primates fate (chrystal ball foot switch) by Bachus	26-Dec-02/4:39 PM
you get exceedingly funnier by the millisecond. care for a whiff of snuff. I just had it imported from tasmania. i also have cuban cigars, FRESH....of course. if you'd like one i'll summon my butler with the cognac tray.
Re: pragmatic bastard! by skaskowski	26-Dec-02/3:36 PM
close.h
Re: it sounds like dying but tastes like living. by skaskowski	26-Dec-02/3:25 PM
fucking sheer spoon fed brilliance, and you're right, and i'll probably never be, but you're mine. i love your poetry. i could read it all day every day, and i do. i love you. more than the rocks that i was, or the fences i paint more than the [horse] more than the [sky net] your pen is a neon maniac blue. your stroll a hijack 'platinum' band that fits and squeezes. i'm just a handprint. caved.e
Re: Oh my gosh what was that? by ==Doylum	26-Dec-02/3:19 PM
your confessional is lacking pyrgates and enbrowning, you have no prawnes...and worst of aLL NO POOP DECK.therefore, you leave me no choice, but to offer you the plank complete with corn and whole peanuts. also we have a plank that comes in wood grain, hangover black and sesame seed. enjoy.r
Re: your voice soothes me in the dark by rockinindividual	26-Dec-02/3:09 PM
that was fun.??
Re: The Day the Winter Muse Fighters of the World Came By by <~>	25-Dec-02/10:14 PM
cheers. i can't give it a ten because of the sensitive nature of it 'all', but precise writing.e
Re: a comment on Doped Up Dr. Seuss by smlink84	25-Dec-02/10:05 PM
i met his wife at a charity event in san diego last month. hilarious. really fucking odd bird.
Re: lovely by pink_punk_kisses87	25-Dec-02/10:03 PM
almost there, maybe add another beginning sentence for 'setting' than space, then stanza, sentence close.