replying on I fucked my sister (2 She's pregnant!) by <{Baba^Yaga}>
26 Jun 2003, 1:50 PM
The horror, may the reciept turnip.
on My Back Fat by charlie busted
26 Jun 2003, 1:45 PM
A chipper poem indeedy.
replying on -=Dark_Angel=- -=In_Decline=- by wEdible Underpantsw
26 Jun 2003, 1:42 PM
Was the commute getting to you?
"A broken man stands alone in a field. The cool breeze billows pleasantly about his shining groin. He turns, naked, and walks into the distance. To follow would be folly; we can only stand and mourn the loss of the darkest of all poetes."
This did bring my teeth to the front of my lips however.
"A broken man stands alone in a field. The cool breeze billows pleasantly about his shining groin. He turns, naked, and walks into the distance. To follow would be folly; we can only stand and mourn the loss of the darkest of all poetes."
This did bring my teeth to the front of my lips however.
on The Twenty-Fifth of Whenevber by OneFingerAnswer
26 Jun 2003, 1:36 PM
Whenember would pull it off better, and I feel this is an Ode.
replying on Maman: Psychic Tophet by SupremeDreamer
24 Jun 2003, 4:41 PM
Use periods. Not..
Because..(there's no such thing)
It's... Three not two
And use it only in case of an Emergency, not to trail off. Makes you look like you're loaded... And... Day dreaming... constantly.
Because..(there's no such thing)
It's... Three not two
And use it only in case of an Emergency, not to trail off. Makes you look like you're loaded... And... Day dreaming... constantly.
replying on Maman: Psychic Tophet by SupremeDreamer
24 Jun 2003, 4:36 PM
I know this will sound mean, but your title still sucks, as a poet your title needs to be even better than the poem. It has to be a lure, a reminder, Symbolic and maintain a seperateness. Like for instance Gordian knot, one would think what? But it's perfect. In other words don't make it an idea make it something. the GK was an untiable knot, get it? So Hellish memorys encompass that much much more like this, "Maman" see that's the hellish memorys it's weird it's different people will come just to see what it means.
replying on Maman: Psychic Tophet by SupremeDreamer
24 Jun 2003, 4:27 PM
Then turn it into a three poem series like my prostitue series, doing what a good screenplay does set up, climax, conclusion. Make sure that happens in each poem and in the series, do you understand?
replying on The Gecko, and the Italian book collector by horus8
24 Jun 2003, 2:26 PM
Don't you mean, "than" instead of "then"? I'm sorry you're stupid and insane. That must make fixing yourself meals and wiping your ass very difficult. You have my deepest condolences. And a friend and extra shotgun ammo with me anytime. I'm sorry you did not enjoy my poem:( It was written for my uncle that died two weeks ago of AIDS. He raised me after my parents died when I was 5 in an airplane crash. I will work on improving it just for you. See, it's a true story, he had this tremendous fear of geckos, and used to think that they were out to get him. Perhaps a gay gecko gave him AIDS one night while he was sleeping? What do you think?
on Maman: Psychic Tophet by SupremeDreamer
24 Jun 2003, 2:14 PM
And change the title, please, for fuck's sake. You don't tell people the end of a movie not even at the end. Remove both of them, good god, kids, are so fucking dramatic.
on only pleasure left by richa
24 Jun 2003, 1:44 PM
Precisely.
replying on The Gecko, and the Italian book collector by horus8
24 Jun 2003, 12:58 PM
Sure, why not.
on only pleasure left by richa
24 Jun 2003, 12:52 PM
To dark for no reason, remove your last sentence entirely, and it would find the lowest level, trust me, I know.
on A Gordian knot (Some dirt on a friend of mine) by Bachus
24 Jun 2003, 11:51 AM
Listen Bachus,
I know you mean well, but since people suspect that you're really me (not) this comes across as being just a bit conceited and creepy. Do me favor, please do not discuss my past without filling out the appropriate paper work for a proper license and waivers.
Thanks, carry on, drunk.
I know you mean well, but since people suspect that you're really me (not) this comes across as being just a bit conceited and creepy. Do me favor, please do not discuss my past without filling out the appropriate paper work for a proper license and waivers.
Thanks, carry on, drunk.
on Maman: Psychic Tophet by SupremeDreamer
24 Jun 2003, 11:44 AM
There are some brilliant twists and observations in here. Compact it by 50%. find and correct some typos and misspells. And there could be a couple of structural improvements.
on the nature of our stillborn by Crakyamuni
24 Jun 2003, 11:37 AM
Because it's not, it's a virus called SCARS
on -=Dark_Angel=- -=In_Decline=- by wEdible Underpantsw
24 Jun 2003, 11:32 AM
Cheese grater? Don't you mean a cotex.
on Bittersweet Emotions by buzzkilled
24 Jun 2003, 11:26 AM
Wow dude, next time, use both barrels.
on The Ode Of Clever Machine by SupremeDreamer
23 Jun 2003, 9:27 AM
Ah, the smell of burnt love in the morning, priceless.