on To Dark Angel by zagerXizer
9 Jan 2003, 12:29 PM
lol. asl?
on You're the Only One by Chels85
8 Jan 2003, 11:36 AM
gldsdl Able aooe
on some deleted poem
9 Jan 2003, 12:32 PM
I actually logged out to give you a zero. Here have another. 0 .
on some deleted poem
9 Jan 2003, 12:32 PM
I actually logged out to give you a zero. Here have another. 0 .
on **The Therapist** by scitz
8 Jan 2003, 11:33 AM
Fucking Marvelous. Great idea for a poem, decisively executed. I wish I'd thought of it first. But - a bit too angry, a bit too poetic. 8. I'd revise it
on some deleted poem
8 Jan 2003, 11:35 AM
extend the metaphors. They'll become more vivid and serve your poem better if they aren't just used in one stanza and then forgotten. Butterflied flutter in packs of 1000s, they migrate, monarchs are gray under the loose pigment that covers their wings. Perhaps something there? Good work.
on some deleted poem
8 Jan 2003, 11:28 AM
1. Don't get hung up on the rhyme, it doesn't do much for this one. Just look at the final lines- The parts that don't rhyme (lines 2+3) hang together closer than 1+2. 2. Show more and tell less - perhaps show, personalize, give us something to relate to in the first part and than have a more didactic conclusion topped with a cherry like the last bit? I just wrote a 2 part love poem and although it lacks the clarity/says a lot less than this I think you might see what I'm talking about.8
on Shit happens by Bobjim the II
7 Jan 2003, 8:33 PM
Settle did it better with his balls haiku.
on The French Shark by -=SeTTle=-
7 Jan 2003, 8:42 PM
If you want to make me laugh, you're going to have to try a little harder than that. 0.
on some deleted poem
7 Jan 2003, 9:08 PM
Writing this poem was the best idea u ever had
on some deleted poem
7 Jan 2003, 7:56 PM
last image is wonderful but not nearly strong enough.
on Waking Up by PawnedTidal
7 Jan 2003, 7:57 PM
change the last fucking to motherfucking, it'll help the rythm.
on terrorism and break dancing by w~* ATHENA *~w
7 Jan 2003, 7:59 PM
pretty boring, the title got my hopes up.
on I Love You!! by Babieflirt
7 Jan 2003, 8:00 PM
THIS SITE IS ONLY FOR SERIOUS POETS
on some deleted poem
7 Jan 2003, 8:02 PM
Read Faust and then parody it.
on Putney at Low Tide by Christof
7 Jan 2003, 8:09 PM
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;//;;
on Inner Peace by god
7 Jan 2003, 7:57 PM
suckey suckey
on electronically by Quarton
7 Jan 2003, 7:59 PM
...and?? This poem says almost nothing other than that which is obvious. Yes, nothing other than. Keep workin' on it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111