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20 most recent comments by Jeremi B. Handrinos (421-440)

Re: she was a garden of roses by crin 18-Jan-03/11:49 AM
"steel resolve" 'thorny resolve' might work better...some how the 'steel' image does not fit, and what would a rose poem be without thorns...que no?
Re: Wild Child by crimzon 26-Jan-03/6:35 PM
This is to poetry what the blue lagoon was to cinema?
Re: blues by <~> 18-Jan-03/11:22 AM
Bulls-eye.
Re: How can you? by alainna 26-Jan-03/6:37 PM
When horus was putting his father osiris back together...he purposely lost the penis..changing the universe forever. Need as dust pan?<
Re: Lachrymalia by Lain 27-Jan-03/1:44 PM
This poem is all over the place. A "renaissance of dust", if you will? 7.
regarding some deleted poem... 27-Jan-03/4:05 PM
he he hah. dust off. it was the dust off. must of been. yeah. wopner at seven. wopner at seven.
Re: Coastal Path by Nicholas Jones 27-Jan-03/11:57 AM
Finished in a rush, but i rather enjoyed how it started, and the wrenchings you applied to some of your articulationso
Re: Emergency by Nicholas Jones 27-Jan-03/12:02 PM
I don't agree with nentwined here.
This is probably the best sept 11th organic attempt at lucid poetics yet..here, that is..why? because it almost isn't..get it? think about that
regarding some deleted poem... 25-Jan-03/12:06 PM
i laughed outloud openly to this...fuck! back to the drawing board. i hate you.
regarding some deleted poem... 25-Jan-03/12:12 PM
i can't stop laughing or reading this! FUCK..THIS is better than king missile's the fish that played the ponys and jesus is way cool, even detachable penis.

"when I noticed a sign nailed to the fence with some nails." brilliant

He seemed agitated. I pointed to the
sausage roll and told him there was no need to worry. He kept on
"shouting. I tried to ignore him, hoping he would just go away." lol.
this is the best thing i've read here..it would make a great short...i'm going to go play something now...you're my hero.
you know that right?
Re: Together Forever by Sarahmarie 21-Jan-03/6:43 PM
Sarah....I think it's time i've come clean and just told you the truth..i love you, but..well..i'm a flaming queen. Can you find it in your heart, to let me wear your underwear too.
Re: untitled (readjuster) by pomoxo 20-Jan-03/8:36 PM
Deleterious aye? Metal you say? Command? I see. Very well. Good one. Nice ending

I feel if you were to structure it like this:

The re-adjuster's come to town;
warmth collapses into my body.
I've got a shivering grin for
the evanescent sun that's flown in,
dropped by for a quick stint.
A joke it is, I'm laughing
behind my own composite,
He's tweaking me back into
the lucid rut, where I love
to glide and grudge;
the tangible flow of
yet-to-be-set concrete,
flashes of a bridge I knew,
a bridge I could have been
poured into-But, I'm static, evaporating frenetic
indentured to his land
of mirage fields that conceal deleterious metal,
and dissolute strands
of the dirt over which
I once had command


regarding some deleted poem... 20-Jan-03/8:27 PM
Have you read about WIMPs yet? They are these far out crazy particles in space that are microscopic but weigh like 5 tons, and can puncture/slice through a planet like a knife through butter. I'd rather play with one of those than a clit sometimes, i think it would be safer. A Quark nugget though, makes a comets/terra impact look vague in comparisson
regarding some deleted poem... 20-Jan-03/2:10 PM
You're right. Socialists don't need jackets. They have a unity groups warmth.
Re: The Chastisement of Cupid by Thyme 20-Jan-03/2:13 PM
Yes, harder! old man, you understand not the mind of the dominant submissive..get to the end of the line. Next!
Re: Who Flamed Roger Rabbit? by poemwanker 18-Jan-03/11:32 AM
"yer?" should be 'er' or yers forcing you to then go with butchers, which actually would make this better...i enjoyed it mostly. a funny ditty and witty but not like a three holed titty splittied six ways.
Re: 2 from 6 by INTRANSIT 18-Jan-03/11:13 AM
Ahhhh ha ha ha...you're insane! i haVE ABSOLutely no clue as to what in the hell this is about and it's right there in front of me... nice curve ball.
regarding some deleted poem... 18-Jan-03/11:19 AM
You should try and write a vilanelle. You are practically a third of the way there already.
I believe that this would look better with a couple of missing commas fixed a period at the end.
The title Capitalized and with a comma in it also. I would very much like to edit your work, possibly...I've read all of your poems.
regarding some deleted poem... 25-Jan-03/12:03 PM
Thanks..ahhh. for the flush.
Re: Nobody by Nicholas Jones 27-Jan-03/11:51 AM
I would.


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