on Gaping Hole by sonawrote
22 Apr 2005, 1:47 AM
A touch repetive, but I easily connected with this.
on f*ckyouoldmenandyourrules by Damien_
19 Apr 2005, 12:01 AM
Seriously. Why do you censor yourself? What is the point of it? Censorship just seem like one of the rules you've some how retained I guess. You had me for awhile, before I got bored by shear length, and subject matter that I felt was being beat overly to death. Yes, it's okay to slam multiple poets in one post, No, it's not okay to slam multiple poets in one post given the amount of time, and the aforementioned droning subject. Ambition is a good thing to have. Eye strain however, sucks for poetry. -7- Because I liked alot of it. I just thought there was way too much of it.
on All You Need Is Gloves by -=DIABETES=-
23 Apr 2005, 11:29 PM
No glove, no love. This needs some sex. I mean good, hard, 30 minute(because the hooker charges by the hour and it took about 25 minutes to get there) sex.
Seriously though, "manufacturer", just doesn't work with how I'm reading this. Not to mention the fact that I was a little bored, and hoping either more lewd, or better writing from a -=_=-, even minus the _.
Seriously though, "manufacturer", just doesn't work with how I'm reading this. Not to mention the fact that I was a little bored, and hoping either more lewd, or better writing from a -=_=-, even minus the _.
on Prickly Pear by Dovina
23 Apr 2005, 11:45 PM
Simple, but good. Athough you description of the defense is a little lite for my taste. It's a struggle for life, via conservative nature. If this isn't about a Cactus(at least somewhat), sorry for being stupid.
<3 Jason
<3 Jason
on some deleted poem
24 Apr 2005, 5:15 PM
I believe it's petted(second to last line). Otherwise, this is more free verse than a prose poem. -8-
on spiritual living by mystic enoch
27 Apr 2005, 9:31 PM
"life changes, love doesn't." Think of how things sound if you read aloud. Didn't affect my vote, but I thought I'd mention it. -7-
on some deleted poem
27 Apr 2005, 9:39 PM
As far a poems go, this is a dud.
on am i right? by celticskatermatt1
27 Apr 2005, 9:55 PM
Okay, a tip about poetry. Write like your on crack and seeing funny shit. In other words be inventive.
on Somehow, Hope by DeadtotheWorld
27 Apr 2005, 10:11 PM
I have to wonder, what the hell were you smoking? I can't even begin to tell you all the things that irritated me about this. Try not to use the same words repeatedly(Like 'many' for one example, there are plenty of other words that mean the exact same thing). I liked what I thought you were trying to get at here, but I hated how you tried to get there. -4-
on Your Mom, My Dad by jessicazee
27 Apr 2005, 10:23 PM
The line breaks could be better.
on I killed you in New Mexico by sunset sky
27 Apr 2005, 10:30 PM
2nd stanza is incredible. Why 5 lines in the other two stanzas? Why not just keep the lines "Kneeling and bleeding to death" and "I was your temple-worship Hand me down" as one line instead of two. I think the writing is better than the form here. Still a 10 in my book.
<3 Jason
<3 Jason
on Fingers Are Soldiers by somemorepoetry
27 Apr 2005, 10:42 PM
***Jawless comrades
***Gape at us with
***Broken, edited teeth.
Damn good images in this. Some of them bloody as hell, but damn good.
***Gape at us with
***Broken, edited teeth.
Damn good images in this. Some of them bloody as hell, but damn good.
on Get Out Of My Life by Brittanyy
3 May 2005, 2:29 PM
"Pimple" Look up the defintion in poem types. -4- until it gets the right classification.
<3 Jason
<3 Jason
on Love without end by windyone
3 May 2005, 2:29 PM
"Pimple" look up the definition in the poem type. A -3- because it's painfully cliche.
<3 Jason
<3 Jason
on Just Another Poem by Damien
3 May 2005, 2:29 PM
I'm a big fan of Math and Logic. However this is good stuff. -8-
<3 Jason
<3 Jason
on Grandma and Grandpa by jessicazee
3 May 2005, 2:29 PM
The first verse I think could use a little more effort put into the meter. Everything else seems to flow naturally, written to be read out loud. Interesting Story telling. -9-
<3 Jason
<3 Jason
on PLEASE VOTE FOR MELANIE by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
3 May 2005, 2:29 PM
Politics + Your Head = Gold
I assume this is about some British Election coming up?
I assume this is about some British Election coming up?
on Ignorant Children by Stacy Stewart
5 May 2005, 3:05 PM
Eh? It's long, and stops to really interest around the Religious remark. Really liked the following lines.
"The Lawyers that must at times, swim against the hem of the sea;
therefore
meaning public opinion."
There is controling your audience, and then there are failed attempts. This was a fairly good attempt. Like Alizarin_Crimson said a nice start, now trim it. Get to your point sooner, and if it's going to look this bulky, Reclassify it as a Prose Poem please.
<3 Jason
"The Lawyers that must at times, swim against the hem of the sea;
therefore
meaning public opinion."
There is controling your audience, and then there are failed attempts. This was a fairly good attempt. Like Alizarin_Crimson said a nice start, now trim it. Get to your point sooner, and if it's going to look this bulky, Reclassify it as a Prose Poem please.
<3 Jason
on some deleted poem
2 Feb 2006, 4:10 PM
After some rewrites and revisions, I think this would be really good.