on No One Cares by Quarton
24 Feb 2003, 7:17 PM
Damn...this is good. reminds me of walking around late night in SOHO or in & out of Ave. B. Just love the way you structured the first two lines in each paragraph. Solid 8
on of people and places (final cut)I by INTRANSIT
1 Jan 2003, 4:49 PM
I find this very relaxing. At least I know I'm not the only one counting tiles when on line at Taco Bell.
Seriously...your perspective on things around is very unique. I wish you were my neighbor so we could drink beers and laugh about things around us.
Seriously...your perspective on things around is very unique. I wish you were my neighbor so we could drink beers and laugh about things around us.
replying on Haffner's Mill by powerline
1 Jan 2003, 7:02 AM
Thanks for the comment Tintagiles....care to elaborate on what is bringing this poem down? The form?
on Prelude to a Legend by ThoughtfulSoul
31 Dec 2002, 7:50 PM
Try to crisp this up a bit by trimming the fat. I'm also a little lost on the form--are you trying to be a writer or a poet?
Regardless, you have a talent with words.
Regardless, you have a talent with words.
on The Eskimo and the fish by INTRANSIT
31 Dec 2002, 7:17 PM
There is a lot more in this that needs to be brought out. You've come on the idea of man and his role with nature, as providor and as his own master. Lots to swallow, but somewhere in these is the essence of what you were after.
on Februarys mother by INTRANSIT
31 Dec 2002, 7:14 PM
Nice. Caught all the images solid. There is so much to be said about letting a verse hang out there, letting others take from it what they may.
In this case, what the words meant to you also carried with me.
In this case, what the words meant to you also carried with me.
on The Eternal Center by Quarton
31 Dec 2002, 1:56 PM
this flows real nice. You have a very powerful image here, call it a concept as well. At times, I was wishing to grasp that concept much more, taste it a little stronger, but I got lost in flow.
Still, excellent stuff.
Still, excellent stuff.
replying on Atlanta to Albany by powerline
10 Dec 2002, 8:41 AM
This was a while back, but your comments deserve a response.
Your presumption is off. I'm a 100% hack at poetry with a certain lack of spelling acumen. If anyone should be limited in their postings it should be me.
What I was after in my suggestion is the notion that those who use this sight in a negative hostile manor should be limited. Those who spew out pure garbage for the sake of it should be able to do so, but only in a limited sense.
Anyone should be able to post their heart's effort. Its when the effort speaks more towards a blatant misuse of the english language under the guise of poetry that I have a problem.
Those who speak with their hearts and mind are excluded, no matter how long they've been crafting their words. Crafting is the operative word here, far far removed from the mindless rhetorical masturbation I make refernce to.
Your presumption is off. I'm a 100% hack at poetry with a certain lack of spelling acumen. If anyone should be limited in their postings it should be me.
What I was after in my suggestion is the notion that those who use this sight in a negative hostile manor should be limited. Those who spew out pure garbage for the sake of it should be able to do so, but only in a limited sense.
Anyone should be able to post their heart's effort. Its when the effort speaks more towards a blatant misuse of the english language under the guise of poetry that I have a problem.
Those who speak with their hearts and mind are excluded, no matter how long they've been crafting their words. Crafting is the operative word here, far far removed from the mindless rhetorical masturbation I make refernce to.
on Untitled #2 by LucidRevelation
22 Jul 2002, 9:41 AM
True...very true. If it weren't for those eyes, men would be a lonely lot
on Word Baskets by powerline
22 Jul 2002, 8:36 AM
Nice suggestions. I should have finished this more before putting it on here. You're on the mark 100%. I was trying to make a link between old poets who "toiled in oil" and new poets who "work in pen" The last two lines suck...I've got to get them fixed.
on Shut up and Dance by NeeMan
15 Jul 2002, 8:42 AM
keep at it. A little more structure is needed. Images are right on the mark.