on Fetch by Limness
27 Aug 2002, 11:53 PM
he dug up the yard/he chewed my damn slippers/ he ate all the garbage/except for the kippers...
on some deleted poem
29 Aug 2002, 7:05 AM
keybored is very good.
on some deleted poem
27 Aug 2002, 11:57 PM
hey, i lived there too. don't forget getting the rolls and pastry at the deli/bakery sunday mornings.
on Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles
27 Aug 2002, 11:59 PM
dude, i could make a cake shaped like a dark fortress, and he could hack it to bits with Narsil
on some deleted poem
28 Aug 2002, 12:15 AM
certes.
on Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles
28 Aug 2002, 12:01 AM
my mom would then thank him for helping her out--she prefers 'trifle' to actual cake; that's where you break it up and mix it in a bowl with coolwhip and pudding and skors bars... i don't thing he'd go for that. do you? he'd weep all over his glitt'ring blade...
on Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles
28 Aug 2002, 12:11 AM
night mrs g.
on some deleted poem
29 Aug 2002, 1:44 PM
on the contrary. i identified with the poem, and enjoyed it. i don't think i voted, though, so i'll do that now: 9. i guess my cryptic comment didn't say that i liked it, huh. what i meant to say was that i felt vast emptiness speeding off on all sides as i read this. i felt like oil dropped into water, thinning across the surface, and dissolving, staining. reading your poem made me feel so very lonenly. what was it's inspirarion, please?
on some deleted poem
29 Aug 2002, 7:06 AM
ironically, this appeared randomly immediately following 'nentwined wins'.
on Evening by unknown
28 Aug 2002, 6:23 AM
easy. easy. yes, comments have been sarcastic recently. it happens. i did not appreciate the censorship, perceived or real. i see it was not intentional; fine. but your poems all sound the same. diversify?
on some deleted poem
28 Aug 2002, 6:34 AM
wow. this is so good and so bad, all at the same time. clever descriptions and solid idea vs. language uncertain and awkwardly assembled. dissect. reassemble. polish. ta da! please consider reworking this; it pleases me greatly and it's only a suckling. it would destroy me, should it arrive full-fleshed...
on Intense Irrational Realities by Venus
27 Aug 2002, 11:37 PM
indeed! well since i'm on a roll with buttah, i'll make one more suggestion: 'or is it merely a series/of lines loosed on squiggles/ black knobbed on grey, an etch-a-sketch maasterpiece'
on some deleted poem
27 Aug 2002, 11:41 PM
1. there's not a lot you can learn rom a single sfternoon's perusal of some philospher's ramblings 2. 'for me to become a master of discipline/ would be impossible', would work better for me
on some deleted poem
27 Aug 2002, 11:48 PM
blunt the neck, call the pecker on it!
on Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles
27 Aug 2002, 11:51 PM
something that makes no sense, coming from off the previous statement. my mom is a master of it: me: mom, what time are you coming over for dinner? mom: do you know if your father is going to grandpa's today? welcome to my world. 1 hour later, she'll call and ask what time she should come over.... if i could borrow aragorn, or even an orc...dinner is at 7...
on Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles
27 Aug 2002, 11:42 PM
and, let's not leave out the coalesced nonsequiters...OMG!! i just made it EVEN LONGER...
on 'The Grey' Triplet by Shin-Bojangles
28 Aug 2002, 12:03 AM
alas! an enya tune! and i am already weary....
on Night scene by unknown
28 Aug 2002, 6:28 AM
okay, so this one is strays from the former flock. how about 'locked to the bed by silver chains'? rolls out, smooth sadism...