poemranker ::20 most recent comments by <~> (1401-1420)

Comments by<~>, 1401–1420 back. Include replies

on father Worked Nights by poetandknowit 27 Aug 2002, 10:46 PM
there you go, p&k, using the banal or your steel again
on denied by <~> 27 Aug 2002, 10:57 PM
is it just that's it's all spelled/spilled out?
on Tryst by <~> 27 Aug 2002, 11:07 PM
no, p&k, you got it right, the mixing of elemental forces...didn't know which would prevail--head, loins, heart...
on Meta by nentwined 27 Aug 2002, 1:32 PM
delightfully convoluted, yet clear.
on Confessor's Nightcap by Limness 27 Aug 2002, 1:28 PM
so, what do you do for fun, other than lend an ear??
on Tryst by <~> 27 Aug 2002, 11:15 PM
strappy red ones?
on denied by <~> 27 Aug 2002, 10:56 PM
okay, so song lyrics are bad poetry. but, how to make it better, mrs g? give it 6 more months, and reduce it by half?
on Esplanade by Wulf 27 Aug 2002, 10:25 PM
well, the structure is lovely, but i can't get past pronouncing it 'ess-plah-nahd' which kills the rhyming. i'm going or it being a woman's name, in my own little world o' understandings and the like. i like it--it twirls me around the room as i read it; i suppose that the act that i want to know what E is has absolutely no bearing on whether or not i will ever get that answer. care to tell us, wulf?
on some deleted poem 27 Aug 2002, 10:29 PM
very uneven, which i suspect you were striving for, but it needs more than that to work well. i eel the slipping, though, and want to eel it more. work with that? go in 1 direction.
on Tryst by <~> 27 Aug 2002, 10:49 PM
dammit! someone's been playing with my 'f' key. i have to bang it to get it to print. so, _ill the eff's in yerselves, fer tonight, as they seem to be evaporating...
on some deleted poem 27 Aug 2002, 11:04 PM
i'm feeling an awkward transition between 'til i got it hurting right' and 'and i still dream'. the rhythm alters; i skip a beat, but not enough of them to get there...also, don't forget you have wings, birdie. this is a clear-voiced song; i think the warbling is an affectation or the tourists. nothing better than a tame outside that lets you in, into the tempest
on Tryst by <~> 27 Aug 2002, 11:10 PM
p&k, i usually do leave quiet those things i am close too. i think this one will stay, and the other one, without metaphos, as mrs g nailed it, will find it's way back into the annals of 'things i thought once but don't want to ever see again, or else i'd have to admit to...' you know the file i mean? any way, it wouldn't be the first poem to appear for a limited engagement, and then disappear into the dark from whence it came...
on Godly by brazen 27 Aug 2002, 11:22 PM
lose the commas and the typo in the last line brazen. they'll get over it. sounds like they were living through you, and now you've gone and got individualized. high crime, that is.
on Intense Irrational Realities by Venus 27 Aug 2002, 11:27 PM
is this one of those, 'i'll show you mine' jobbers? heheheh. seriously, though, you could tighten this by dropping 'child's' in s3--it's unnecessary; maybe say 'cradled in antique gold'
? musings, musings...
on some deleted poem 27 Aug 2002, 1:23 PM
alone again, naturally.
on Midnight at the pool by flatliner 27 Aug 2002, 1:27 PM
i love that dance! dance often, my friend!
on Tryst by <~> 27 Aug 2002, 10:47 PM
my only regret is that we didn't. god help him i get him alone some night...
on Escapism by vulcan 27 Aug 2002, 6:24 AM
detatched, but not all the way gone. i get the feeling he's planning the trip though. liked it.
on The Hand of God by Christof 27 Aug 2002, 8:29 AM
ironic, well done
on <{Grasping^Grendals}> by Bachus 27 Aug 2002, 1:50 PM
she will never love you as much as her sleep! nor even as much as thr fragrant and detatched armpits of sodding peasants! other than that, i'm okay, you're okay. nice piece.