on Bizarre Practices by longships
21 Aug 2002, 12:06 AM
if you enjoy thinking of them as bizarre, i guess they are. so many condemn for thoughts they themselves frequently fight back. perhaps this is what incites the mania? everything 'safe' and 'normal' sounds like hell to me.
on Sexxodus by Shin-Bojangles
21 Aug 2002, 8:57 PM
mr. bojangles, this is sooo SWEET. not even a samurai could kick this guy's rumbling bumble! shaven or not, this really tickled me. someplace special.
on cold sonnet by <~>
21 Aug 2002, 12:53 PM
i think my problem is that i spend a lot of time in my head. my thoughts wrap themselves in polysyllabic mantles; i think with those words. you're not the first to mention that my words are too complex to flow. i tried to work on that, to simplify the description in a rewrite of secret, admirer. did you see the first version?
on Secret, Admirer by <~>
21 Aug 2002, 1:06 PM
zzinnia66 -- 21-Aug-02, 01:06 PM
no, i used 'ejaculations' because i wanted to convey a sense of raw, driven urges--other peoples heat pouring in through my childhood bedroom window. 'incubi', 'came', 'unprotected', 'cruisers'--all sex words, forcing their way into an innocent's dreams... too obscure?
no, i used 'ejaculations' because i wanted to convey a sense of raw, driven urges--other peoples heat pouring in through my childhood bedroom window. 'incubi', 'came', 'unprotected', 'cruisers'--all sex words, forcing their way into an innocent's dreams... too obscure?
on Secret, Admirer by <~>
21 Aug 2002, 1:40 PM
mrs. god--no boudaries are crossed. i asked for help, afterall. i liked the assonance and allitleration there -all the v's and i's... i guess ienjoy tripping over my own tongue. keep the the comments coming, mrs. g.
on Secret, Admirer by <~>
21 Aug 2002, 8:59 AM
okay, the muse has spoken. what say you all? does this accomplish my goal? now, i think it's less scattered, and i THINK there is a more concrete sense of narrative... y or n?
on Shelter by poetandknowit
21 Aug 2002, 12:15 AM
ah, the moment of clarity, arriving too late. as you said, at least it's getting wrapped up. as much as i like a nice drinkie with friends, things have been known to out themselves in the most uncomfortable of ways on those occasions. sigh. so, where're you from, originally?
on some deleted poem
21 Aug 2002, 8:41 AM
g'sW--i like the retrospect you paint here, and the contrast of connectedness: innocence and understanding to one's capacity and the joy in that awareness; the abandoning oneself to the truth of youth; and the keen sensitivity to that loss. sigh. beautiful and simple. see my 'cold sonnet' for the voices of the earth on a grey february day... i put myself in cedar skin to write in, and would be interested in what you think of my writing. and, oh, h, i hope that was bachus talking trash about my potential trashing of the divine wife's work, because i thought you knew me better than that. this crafty muse gets nothing but respect from me for her wordwerk. i like the way she thinks. she leaves the right stuff out, which is a skill i am trying to acquire...
on some deleted poem
21 Aug 2002, 12:31 PM
cleary demonstrating that motherhood and sentience are not mutually exclusive. nicely done. may i add: APHRODITE /seductress divine/satisfy my heart's delight/your gift is passion
on some deleted poem
20 Aug 2002, 11:36 PM
god'swife, um, yup. my eastcoast clock is rather unforgiving. i need to wake up in 4 hours, and here i sit, hammering at these damn keys, my bleary eyes trying to make sense, my fingers trying to type sense. sorry about that slip. and thanks for the clown. :]
on Secret, Admirer by <~>
20 Aug 2002, 11:59 PM
mojo, h: i used to live out in the sticks, and the night was alive with eyes when i came home after working my 2nd (or sometimes 3rd) job. you never knew what was out there--swamp on one side of the driveway, woods on the other. vultures waiting in the trees, an arm's reach from my car door in the morning. the paranoid dash from the car to the door was pure adrenaline. i was younger--10 years ago i scribbled these ideas out; yesterday, i gave them flesh. i was alone--that bit about him leaving the light on? he had stopped coming home, and the only ones waiting up were the cats. call me la vieja loco con gatos...
on Shelter by poetandknowit
20 Aug 2002, 11:42 PM
on a bender tonight, p&k? 'this little one's not worth the effort. come, let me get you something...'
on Secret, Admirer by <~>
21 Aug 2002, 1:08 PM
also in this set-apart stanza--lowercase 'i', for innocent...
on Shelter by poetandknowit
21 Aug 2002, 12:00 AM
no wonder you need a little help, just waiting for your fact-checkin' cuz. is there a gem in the story that you care to share? an anecdote, a phrasing that amuses?
on The Confession by [mojo]
21 Aug 2002, 1:51 PM
good god mojo! youscare me out of my skin!
on Shelter by poetandknowit
21 Aug 2002, 12:17 AM
i'll only trash it if it's shaped like colorado. deal?
on some deleted poem
21 Aug 2002, 12:36 PM
desire--'delight' should have been 'desire'. duh.
on The Precious Thing by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
21 Aug 2002, 12:11 AM
you sly beggar. slipping it in, once again, and freshness counts! jubilant use of 'shape', and motion.