on Arousing Love by LuckyJoe
4 Aug 2003, 6:38 PM
it takes a fresh view, joe. yes, you're right there with the humanity of the experience--but you're reporting it, and i want you to make me feel it. all night's the best of the lot. but, check out the helpful hints here:
http://www.uni.edu/~gotera/CraftOfPoetry
and, show me, dammit!
http://www.uni.edu/~gotera/CraftOfPoetry
and, show me, dammit!
on Fish by http://findingwater
4 Aug 2003, 6:33 PM
smelly, but not salty?
replying on Night Terrors by princesszoe
4 Aug 2003, 6:28 PM
but raw bone does not stink, after the first cut. a few days in the sun, or hours in august, and yes, it will. but not so quickly as you would metaphor-ize, here.
on Tuning Fork by rusty
4 Aug 2003, 6:25 PM
faceted.
this is the best of your 4.. break it down again, and hone it. it's a little sharp, still, for a sockles child, even in reverie.
this is the best of your 4.. break it down again, and hone it. it's a little sharp, still, for a sockles child, even in reverie.
replying on A Circle Starts with C by rusty
4 Aug 2003, 6:20 PM
yes. you mean "phone" correct? if not, what do you mean? cum to your senses, man!
very funny. i think you could push the envelop of absurdity a little more. in fact, i'm sure you could. and will.
very funny. i think you could push the envelop of absurdity a little more. in fact, i'm sure you could. and will.
on Satyrs and fluting the teachers by Jeremi B. Handrinos
4 Aug 2003, 6:10 PM
hooven? cloven? woven? film at 11?
once more, with feeling. always cut away all those extra filler words (it was, just, only, etc...)
my suggs:
Time won't heal these open wounds,
Inflicted relentlessly;
Emotions linger, disturbed tombs
broken, emptied.
After you destroyed me
I craved control;
I gave my body but never my soul.
And now, consumed
By loneliness and guilt,
This love cannot be exhumed
Buried in scarlet silk.
my suggs:
Time won't heal these open wounds,
Inflicted relentlessly;
Emotions linger, disturbed tombs
broken, emptied.
After you destroyed me
I craved control;
I gave my body but never my soul.
And now, consumed
By loneliness and guilt,
This love cannot be exhumed
Buried in scarlet silk.
on Karma by http://mulberryfairy
4 Aug 2003, 5:48 PM
yes. OH, YES!
you have obviously garnered, not squandered, the mythical strength of the hirsute, madame.
great do-over.
you have obviously garnered, not squandered, the mythical strength of the hirsute, madame.
great do-over.
replying on An Unreal Iowa December Night by LuckyJoe
4 Aug 2003, 5:45 PM
joe just run it in word's spell check. turn the feature on where it auto-corrects spelling. that helps. the grammar check makes suggestions for you. this being poetry, you won't take them, of course, but it will point them out to you, nonetheless.
replying on Moosefart's Revenge by wwFrasier Allonbyww
4 Aug 2003, 5:43 PM
or pyromanic OCDs.
replying on Reminders... by loneshadow29
4 Aug 2003, 5:27 PM
it's the same, but less sad, at 2 p.m.
on Eight thousand clay tiles by abecedarian
4 Aug 2003, 4:15 PM
amen. nice work, alph-beta.
replying on Bein' Vegan by poetandknowit
4 Aug 2003, 4:10 PM
even better. back atcha.
replying on Bein' Vegan by poetandknowit
4 Aug 2003, 3:49 PM
your typing is horrible. are you drunk?
trivia is not for 2 more nights!!!!!
trivia is not for 2 more nights!!!!!
replying on On waiting to pick up my daughter on Tuesday by poetandknowit
4 Aug 2003, 3:39 PM
pig, what's your gripe with p&k?
replying on Retirement by Jeremi B. Handrinos
4 Aug 2003, 3:37 PM
it's not just yearly, it's year-round, mes freres.
replying on Retirement by Jeremi B. Handrinos
4 Aug 2003, 2:35 PM
now boyz, play nice!
on Karma by http://mulberryfairy
4 Aug 2003, 11:22 AM
also, i always thought it was "peeling out"because you left some rubber on the driveway. i like the aural association of 'pealing out', but i don't think it works, if that's what you meant, because squaling rubber, she is not mellifluous, eh?
on Moosefart's Revenge by wwFrasier Allonbyww
4 Aug 2003, 11:00 AM
i wonder if margaret looked before she crossed the street? it seems so few do these days. if you don't like the way poeple comment here on poemranker, don't post. simple. help us gain awareness of mental illness. hahahahhahaha. margaret, when was the last time you spent 38% of your gross on psychiatry? me, it was last oct-dec. made for a really shitty christmas. but i got to take some pretty pills, and i'm still here, right?
if you're reading this margaret, buck up! maybe your sons would respect you if you had a spine.
if you're reading this margaret, buck up! maybe your sons would respect you if you had a spine.
if only the boy knew humility. but then, we all need a fulcrum or two.