on Me and My Girl by NinjaPoet
31 Jan 2003, 8:53 AM
or, for www.ratemypoo.com
don't be shy. submit.
don't be shy. submit.
when God is done with your dishes, could you give him a ride to my house? i've had to wear the same pants for 3 days in a row. and i hate to do laundry. he can hit the liquor cabinet and watch the soaps while he waits. it's 3 or 4 loads. a coupla hours, max.
thanks.
thanks.
on Love spank by Shardik
31 Jan 2003, 8:34 AM
only if you'll buy me one of those 'silk' roses, with a 'teardrop' on them the next time you stop for diesel. sweetheart.
now, did you want the maid, or the nurse?
now, did you want the maid, or the nurse?
on Small Town Tavern by NinjaPoet
30 Jan 2003, 11:30 AM
you got me all heated up with a strong start...and then, well, nothing. you lost me at ac/dc. you lost 'it' then too.
do over.
do over.
replying on Hermes Trigamestus (was not a monk edit) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
28 Jan 2003, 7:01 PM
both, i'll wager.
on Pandora's box by Lynn
28 Jan 2003, 7:00 PM
damn. you are so on when you do this kind of thing. excellent modernization. fantastic twist. and then we were undone.
you make me jealous, girl.
you make me jealous, girl.
replying on Pandora's box by Lynn
28 Jan 2003, 6:58 PM
be happy you don't get it. be very happy.
on Hermes Trigamestus (was not a monk edit) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
28 Jan 2003, 8:17 AM
wrap it up, h. this needs one more. 2 is not complete. give trigamestus the triad treatment, and then i will vote.
and it won't be a fucking 5.
and it won't be a fucking 5.
replying on Hermes Trigamestus (was not a monk edit) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
28 Jan 2003, 8:16 AM
there is nothing undercover about h8, mr jones. his laundry's been on the clothesline in the front yard since he landed here at the ranker. recently, i believe he took some of his more, erm, intimate wear, down off the line (yes, it was dry ages ago, but not nearly aired out enough), but his scrawled-upon t-shirts and ripped jeans are still there.
p.s.--you won't find him on a star map. yet.
p.s.--you won't find him on a star map. yet.
replying on The yellow rose of California by INTRANSIT
27 Jan 2003, 4:43 PM
yep, it's you.
:]
:]
replying on Afterglow by Imperfections
27 Jan 2003, 4:35 PM
you could end it with an ellipsis, as though the thought is still lingering on...
on Starving at Tiffany's by horus8
24 Jan 2003, 12:16 PM
work with me on the damn punctuation, h! you are getting tighter, so i will be harsher, since i'm good at the picky shit. so, CRACK!! tighten, boy! CRACK!!!
and, you don't need the quotation marks on every occurance of the title. my sugg. is to make it a title once, and leave it as a description of a person the rest of the time.
and, you don't need the quotation marks on every occurance of the title. my sugg. is to make it a title once, and leave it as a description of a person the rest of the time.
replying on Sticks and Stones Farm, Pot Luck Thursday Nights by <~>
24 Jan 2003, 8:56 AM
this is way too fat right now. it's just taking upspace until i can look at it again. (which i can't right now). wanna rip it apart for me? because i think it needs it. i'd appreciate the help. thanks.
on No more tears, or trail by Bachus
24 Jan 2003, 8:33 AM
DAMN YOU FOR MAKING ME THINK OF THE BROTHERS GIBB AT THIS UNGODLY HOUR!!!
(shadow dancin', bay-bee you do it right...) (eat your heart out, nicholas jones!!!)
(shadow dancin', bay-bee you do it right...) (eat your heart out, nicholas jones!!!)
replying on Starving at Tiffany's by horus8
24 Jan 2003, 8:02 AM
rock on, nick. rock on.
on The Other Side of Me by Quarton
24 Jan 2003, 7:56 AM
very nice indeed.
this is the weakest point:
~
A tempter who could speak
without debate,
his opinions most convincingly.
How he would talk--on and on
incessantly,
~
ironically, the language is not convincing.
i particularly like the way you begin this poem--as though your mask is a stranger. it does feel that way, at times. remember that you are the fabricator and the fabricatee.
perhaps old age, and wisdom help us meld the two.
i will not rank until you convince me. nice effort.
this is the weakest point:
~
A tempter who could speak
without debate,
his opinions most convincingly.
How he would talk--on and on
incessantly,
~
ironically, the language is not convincing.
i particularly like the way you begin this poem--as though your mask is a stranger. it does feel that way, at times. remember that you are the fabricator and the fabricatee.
perhaps old age, and wisdom help us meld the two.
i will not rank until you convince me. nice effort.
on Starving at Tiffany's by horus8
24 Jan 2003, 7:13 AM
this is nicer than a little blue box tied up with a crisp white ribbon.
and, you have keyed this so succinctly as to leave it inaccessible, at least for a skimmer. it's hiddin in the ashes of idyll passed. it's rubbled under, and romulus and remus dug their way out at last.
i'll hold my breath for it. shit, i've been holding it for aeons.