on The Sea by Moss
20 Nov 2002, 7:54 AM
ooohhh. yesss. well done. have a ten, for your insight.
on Orange Hills (Villanelle) by Moss
20 Nov 2002, 7:53 AM
if only there were a 'near-vilanelle' option. i am disappointed you call it one and do not deliver. i'll come back and reread when less jaded.
replying on the pot collected water when it hid us from the rain by kiki
20 Nov 2002, 7:03 AM
thanks for the pity. learn what sarcasm is. it'll take you far in life.
replying on "Why would I need to get in touch with you?" by Limness
19 Nov 2002, 10:56 PM
that's a phrase. a label. and true.
publish the furnace-builder. it'll make me smile in the morning.
publish the furnace-builder. it'll make me smile in the morning.
replying on "Why would I need to get in touch with you?" by Limness
19 Nov 2002, 10:39 PM
fuck you.
replying on I Stand Mesmerized by abbaslittleclingon
19 Nov 2002, 10:25 PM
ahem. i live in the suburbs. pictures to prove it. etc, etc. mrs.g has the magic of line breaks working for her too. you have to give her that. and she can be spare to great effect, which i like. i'm no fan of the flotsam and jetsam above (which is mostly why i kept my fingers out of her pie). i stick to flavors i like. like sunburnt mountain boys and chicas des angeles.
replying on "Why would I need to get in touch with you?" by Limness
19 Nov 2002, 10:17 PM
yes. but make it a triangle. please.
replying on Haiku Gymraeg by Nicholas Jones
19 Nov 2002, 10:48 AM
if these are your reasons, then please link to a soundfile of someone speaking it. then the english speakers here can appreciate it for it's sounds. maybe horus will record you and post it at gangbox, like he did with mrs.g. throws a whole new light on things, it does.
replying on "Why would I need to get in touch with you?" by Limness
19 Nov 2002, 7:04 AM
i'm going to side with mrs.g on this. using "those" and referring to the words pushes the speaker waaay back--very stunned. makes a 'thing' of the words themselves, giving them the power they have had to sting. see it?
on Haiku Gymraeg by Nicholas Jones
19 Nov 2002, 6:40 AM
translation please?
replying on Boy I Know by Goose
18 Nov 2002, 1:13 PM
hey, what's good for the goose is not good for the gander anyway.
replying on Faith... by loneshadow29
18 Nov 2002, 1:00 PM
what about bugs? you could write about forensic entymology--you know, what happens to our bodies after we die, or at least after we are immobile and exposed to insects--whichever comes first. that's fucking depressing enough for anyone.
see: http://folk.uio.no/mostarke/forens_ent/a
see: http://folk.uio.no/mostarke/forens_ent/a
on The Breathing Dead by Caducus
18 Nov 2002, 12:39 PM
i think you meant 'pillar' of salt, but it sounds like you cried over her until you had a pillow of salt, which is strangely satisfying to the unrequited side of me.
fix your last line, okay?
fix your last line, okay?
on The beauty of a bird by mozac
18 Nov 2002, 12:37 PM
you ask too many questions.
and no clews are forthcoming. bah.
and no clews are forthcoming. bah.
on Boy I Know by Goose
18 Nov 2002, 12:36 PM
damn. i am fresh out of tissues too. oh well. the crocodiles can have em.
maybe change the first line to '25 going on dead'?
maybe change the first line to '25 going on dead'?
on Faith... by loneshadow29
18 Nov 2002, 12:34 PM
couldn't you write about trees or fishing or murder or something?
replying on I Begged by abbaslittleclingon
18 Nov 2002, 6:45 AM
i agree. you lose the mystic of it with the last line. the transfiguration of the end to the beginning, of death to life--it's beautiful done. but the last line is cheap. think harder. write a more fiting conclusion.
replying on "Why would I need to get in touch with you?" by Limness
17 Nov 2002, 6:26 PM
yes, but who is the truest ass here, sirrah?
on Heart of the killer by UAFANTHORPEY
16 Nov 2002, 7:55 PM
oh please. he can't be scared of you.