Re: Sexxodus by Shin-Bojangles	21-Aug-02/8:57 PM
mr. bojangles, this is sooo SWEET. not even a samurai could kick this guy's rumbling bumble! shaven or not, this really tickled me. someplace special.
Re: The Confession by [mojo]	21-Aug-02/1:51 PM
good god mojo! youscare me out of my skin!
Re: Secret, Admirer by <~>	21-Aug-02/1:40 PM
mrs. god--no boudaries are crossed. i asked for help, afterall. i liked the assonance and allitleration there -all the v's and i's... i guess ienjoy tripping over my own tongue. keep the the comments coming, mrs. g.
Re: Secret, Admirer by <~>	21-Aug-02/1:08 PM
also in this set-apart stanza--lowercase 'i', for innocent...
Re: Secret, Admirer by <~>	21-Aug-02/1:06 PM
zzinnia66 -- 21-Aug-02, 01:06 PM no, i used 'ejaculations' because i wanted to convey a sense of raw, driven urges--other peoples heat pouring in through my childhood bedroom window. 'incubi', 'came', 'unprotected', 'cruisers'--all sex words, forcing their way into an innocent's dreams... too obscure?
Re: cold sonnet by <~>	21-Aug-02/12:53 PM
i think my problem is that i spend a lot of time in my head. my thoughts wrap themselves in polysyllabic mantles; i think with those words. you're not the first to mention that my words are too complex to flow. i tried to work on that, to simplify the description in a rewrite of secret, admirer. did you see the first version?
Re: Secret, Admirer by <~>	21-Aug-02/8:59 AM
okay, the muse has spoken. what say you all? does this accomplish my goal? now, i think it's less scattered, and i THINK there is a more concrete sense of narrative... y or n?
Re: Shelter by poetandknowit	21-Aug-02/12:17 AM
i'll only trash it if it's shaped like colorado. deal?
Re: Shelter by poetandknowit	21-Aug-02/12:15 AM
ah, the moment of clarity, arriving too late. as you said, at least it's getting wrapped up. as much as i like a nice drinkie with friends, things have been known to out themselves in the most uncomfortable of ways on those occasions. sigh. so, where're you from, originally?
Re: The Precious Thing by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	21-Aug-02/12:11 AM
you sly beggar. slipping it in, once again, and freshness counts! jubilant use of 'shape', and motion.
Re: Bizarre Practices by longships	21-Aug-02/12:06 AM
if you enjoy thinking of them as bizarre, i guess they are. so many condemn for thoughts they themselves frequently fight back. perhaps this is what incites the mania? everything 'safe' and 'normal' sounds like hell to me.
Re: Shelter by poetandknowit	21-Aug-02/12:00 AM
no wonder you need a little help, just waiting for your fact-checkin' cuz. is there a gem in the story that you care to share? an anecdote, a phrasing that amuses?
Re: Secret, Admirer by <~>	20-Aug-02/11:59 PM
mojo, h: i used to live out in the sticks, and the night was alive with eyes when i came home after working my 2nd (or sometimes 3rd) job. you never knew what was out there--swamp on one side of the driveway, woods on the other. vultures waiting in the trees, an arm's reach from my car door in the morning. the paranoid dash from the car to the door was pure adrenaline. i was younger--10 years ago i scribbled these ideas out; yesterday, i gave them flesh. i was alone--that bit about him leaving the light on? he had stopped coming home, and the only ones waiting up were the cats. call me la vieja loco con gatos...
Re: North by lw_nd	20-Aug-02/11:49 PM
i'm along for the ride on this one, cold and dark as it may be. well done.
Re: Shelter by poetandknowit	20-Aug-02/11:42 PM
on a bender tonight, p&k? 'this little one's not worth the effort. come, let me get you something...'
Re: On the Eve of the '98 Leonids by lw_nd	20-Aug-02/11:27 PM
i see you have heeded this advice. the river bend was the most alluring; the whole of it seem like fish strung on a line, but you've got cod mixed with trout and mackerel, and flatfish and sea robins abed with small mouth. i see by your title that all relate to the eve, but i'm not sure how.
Re: Secret, Admirer by <~>	20-Aug-02/1:34 PM
i know. god that one was classic, wasn't it? but i had to pull it--part of the terms of the settlement, you know.
Re: I am Darkness by Dreamer	20-Aug-02/12:47 PM
i fear neither crow nor cock nor getting laid by the light of dawn's fatal rays.
Re: The Ultimate~Creep goes to Mecca! by Bachus	20-Aug-02/12:37 PM
afternoon, h. don't worry about stupor123; he's a big-badass-comment-deleting braveheart. apparently he knows all about everything, too. oh, and thanks for the good werds last nite. i signed off early...
Re: Secret, Admirer by <~>	20-Aug-02/12:29 PM
thanks razor. typo fixed.