poemranker ::20 most recent comments by nentwined (241-260) and replies

Comments bynentwined, 241–260 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

on School. by cleverdevice 4 Oct 2006, 5:54 PM
eh.
on Octubre 1992 by The Eskimo King 4 Oct 2006, 5:53 PM
no habla. :/

Babelfish gives me: ""Heart Rests" Duer to me heart becomes cloudy the sky the storm will make more fort rain the reason will take care of your dream so that the doubt does not do damage to you. It rests in the bed of the illusion dressed in savannahs of the hope pillows of pleasing memories and by blanket your anxieties. It dreams about the shining sun the serenity of that sea in calm the fresh breeze of the dusk and the romantic Full Moon. Fleet in the apparent dark of one night without stars that your beats plot the course towards those sublime and beside the point beautiful things."

To which I say... hmm. Some pretty words?

I'm an ignorant American.
on Retreived by T'ien 4 Oct 2006, 5:51 PM
death to love!
on Innocence lost by deadstar 4 Oct 2006, 5:50 PM
ow.
on Grab Out For J. Christ! by Sing4Jesus! 4 Oct 2006, 5:50 PM
wow.
on Morning on Galapados by Mikius 4 Oct 2006, 5:49 PM
it feels like you're using the same words, repetition, in a way that's not building but cheapening. I think you have a nice solid image, but it's portrayed in a step-forward, step-backward manner in awkward chunks--for me.
on Pressing Matters in the White House by cleverdevice 4 Oct 2006, 5:48 PM
cutesy, but the ragged rhythm/jumps drive me crazy
on Bloody Sonner by The Eskimo King 4 Oct 2006, 5:47 PM
too rough in flow for me.
on suicide lost the plot by T'ien 4 Oct 2006, 5:46 PM
the rhymes feel too forced, cheapening anything you might want us to take seriously. flow feels off in a number of places as well.
on Longing by deadstar 4 Oct 2006, 5:45 PM
second line really trips me up in flow; within each vein seems really odd--perhaps every? each makes me think you've only got two, for some reason. awkward and droll, overall.
on The Fox by cleverdevice 4 Oct 2006, 5:44 PM
cute. is it true, about foxes? The flow felt off here and there throughout, but it's cute anyway.
on The toilet by The Eskimo King 4 Oct 2006, 5:43 PM
which he, who? eh.
on Innocence revisited by Caducus 4 Oct 2006, 5:42 PM
"A body yard from virginal" makes me think there has to either be a typo somewhere, or a missing word--I get some gist of it from context, but well, lots of different some gists.

very interesting, though. I really like the second stanza, and just want the first to cohere a little more for me.
replying on Wyndham by Aetius 4 Oct 2006, 11:16 AM
Great Oriental Nothingness Exercise -- aka GONE?

"I have never believed in Wyndham" doesn't _quite_ strike the right cadence for me, or something. Not sure.

I like this, though, and definitely want to see it illustrated.
on tomorrow by deano 4 Oct 2006, 11:13 AM
Fun, and my sort of fun, to boot. Simple, but overall the cadence is right, and the sounds as well. I don't like "why isn't it tomorrow tomorrow"--that doesn't flow right. Hmm. Yeah, could use some tweaking. But I think it's worth it.
replying on An Invitation From Poetry.com by scitz 5 Jun 2006, 10:08 AM
I'd chip in a few bucks to see a video of that. :)
on test by zanzina 17 May 2006, 1:53 PM
Hmm. Very minimalist. ;)
replying on Today's Spam by nentwined 27 Feb 2006, 3:10 PM
Nice, especially the goat play. =)
replying on Today's Spam by nentwined 27 Feb 2006, 12:58 PM
W00+!
replying on Today's Spam by nentwined 26 Feb 2006, 12:41 AM
Thanks. If I revise, I'll have to keep these in mind. I love getting the "your account has been suspended" message, given that every email account I've gotten that spam on is on a domain/server I own.