on Memorial Park by Mona Lisa
11 Aug 2003, 8:05 AM
Nice.
on Street Prostitute: Dark Angel by Don-Quixote
11 Aug 2003, 8:04 AM
I feel the love.
on Ali Abbas Welcome To England by scitz
11 Aug 2003, 8:00 AM
No kidding.
on C a n n i b a l by scitz
11 Aug 2003, 7:59 AM
Burp.
on WHY IS THE MEDIA SO LONDON-CENTRIC? Written last Tuesday by Nicholas Jones
11 Aug 2003, 7:58 AM
Like how you snuck in all the syllables that you couldn't fit in your haiku, into the lengthy title.
on A Day Like The Last by dragonfly
11 Aug 2003, 7:54 AM
Sounds like a counting crows song, which isn't bad, but could use improvement when it is unaccompanied poetry.
on Colony by <{Baba^Yaga}>
11 Aug 2003, 7:52 AM
I think the dictionary preferred plural of buffalo is buffalo, but acknowledge your poetic right to say buffalos (even though buffaloes is the second place plural form) in order to point out the cowboys' ignorance.
on The Cereal Killer Blues by <{Baba^Yaga}>
11 Aug 2003, 7:46 AM
What brand of cereal do you prefer? I was thinking granola to go with the parfait, but correct me if I'm wrong.
replying on Maine Freeze by http://mulberryfairy
11 Aug 2003, 7:41 AM
Thanks, I did alter it there.
replying on Playa been caught in their games. (revised/new) by LuckyJoe
11 Aug 2003, 7:36 AM
Yes, much improved, a few typos in there, but definitely better. See BabaYaga's comment below though about the love toy, that doesn't work for me. I have a decent (I think) affair poem too, check it out, it is called "8:45am dentist appointment".
replying on Playa been caught in their games. (revised/new) by LuckyJoe
11 Aug 2003, 7:34 AM
I hear you, I have "naked" love toys, but they are battery powered.
replying on Pina Colada Belle by Don-Quixote
10 Aug 2003, 8:03 PM
Yeah, I know you are male, I just think of you as female for a split second every time I see your screen name. It could be one of those clit/penis thingies, take a closer look. (Glad you have a sense of humor about it, anyhow).
replying on Playa been caught in their games. (revised/new) by LuckyJoe
10 Aug 2003, 7:58 PM
You're welcome. What would this poem have been like if you hadn't been experimenting w/ rhyme but you kept the same subject. Maybe you could replace it with that poem that would be more natural for you.
replying on Between Now And Then by sliver
10 Aug 2003, 7:55 PM
Shucks, you caught me trying to skip away without addressing the subject. Honestly, I am athiest, so I couldn't really relate. But it is a nice thing to write to your father, and a nice way to talk about grief.
on Social Geeks and Christians by SP REYNOLDS
10 Aug 2003, 7:11 PM
Liked the last stanza and this plea, especially "âGive us hope, somebody!
Take our minds off monotony, somebody!
WE ARE GEEKS!â "
Take our minds off monotony, somebody!
WE ARE GEEKS!â "
on Hardcore Denial or Sumpin'. by Shardik
10 Aug 2003, 7:08 PM
Chimey, but funny, as usual.
on Happiness & Old Age by Caducus
10 Aug 2003, 7:04 PM
So sweet. I like the stanza in which you talk about your worst fears, the TV dinner, arriving early to "argue with the black driver"- hilarious. You need an apostrophe in Mum's (referring to her gravy).
on Between Now And Then by sliver
10 Aug 2003, 7:00 PM
Line 8 should say "Savior's side"
on Playa been caught in their games. (revised/new) by LuckyJoe
10 Aug 2003, 6:57 PM
Line 2: change to - "too"
Line 8: wanting to dry what, her eyes? too forced
Line 12: despise seems forced too, it is a verb, after all, and you are using it as a noun for an emotion.
I am not a rhyming poet myself, so I can't really talk, but the rhyming poems that are most enjoyable to me don't have lines that all end with one syllable words, those rhymes are too obvious and predictable, and they halt the lyrical flow of the words. It doesn't seem like rhyming poetry is going to be your strongest area, at this point.
Line 8: wanting to dry what, her eyes? too forced
Line 12: despise seems forced too, it is a verb, after all, and you are using it as a noun for an emotion.
I am not a rhyming poet myself, so I can't really talk, but the rhyming poems that are most enjoyable to me don't have lines that all end with one syllable words, those rhymes are too obvious and predictable, and they halt the lyrical flow of the words. It doesn't seem like rhyming poetry is going to be your strongest area, at this point.
Anyway, there is something called a "startle reflex"- it is what makes babies spread both arms suddenly, so it is not that the passengers have startled reflexes, the jolts have aroused their startle reflexes (like when you are sleeping and think you are falling- My startle reflex always goes crazy on bus travel).
As far as oral possibilities go, oral is the only kind of sex that would be hindered by a period, don't you think? These two would definitely have all other forms of intercourse in spite of period blood. Thanks for your compliments, too.