Alas, this is why it needs work, I shouldn't need a paragraph to explain it.

Well, I thought about specifically saying that she, the narrator, was going to turn down a later trip on a different bus, but thought it'd be anti-climatic. I think, in spite of her planning and her full intention to do the deed, she was ambivalent, and she realized that too much planning had gone into it, it couldn't be as sexy and spontaneous as she'd hoped because of the spacial barriers involved (which neccesitated the extreme planning). So, it was almost better that she had an excuse for it not to happen, rather than have it happen and have the experience not live up to their expectations.

No, sadly, just a strap-on.

Right, I got that, but isn't there something you could call them besides "emerald"? It's too Disney for my taste.

Bad science is bad. There is an army scientist who has spoken up about the dangers of depleted uranium, and he is pointing out the relationship between DU and the sickness reported by veterans of the first Gulf War. But again, you are refering to the army as if it were one person with one set of thoughts.

I like the new ending, it is a little less obvious and cliche than grabbing the wheel. However, I don't know about this bilging business. My dictionary (which may or may not be inadequate) says that the verb form of bilge means 1)to become damaged in the bilge (which is, in noun form, the bulging part of a cask or barrel) or 2) to rest on the bilge. I think you need something more like purge, ablute, or pass, like passing a parasitic worm.

Oh yes, much better, but it is much more vague, too, doubt I would've gotten it in its present form. But still very nice.