replying on Definition of Hypocrisy by Retaliate
7 Aug 2003, 6:16 PM
I mean, http://www.votetoimpeach.org/
on Definition of Hypocrisy by Retaliate
7 Aug 2003, 6:14 PM
Rhetoric, yes, but I like the contrast you've laid out for your readers: says this/does this. www.impeachbush.com
on Yellow Cake for Everyone by Retaliate
7 Aug 2003, 6:11 PM
"W knew where exactly where the cake was"- You have an extra "where" in there. I like the idea, but you know the army is getting sick from depleted uranium, too, so I think "army doesn't care about uranium" is a little harsh, since most of the army is made up of normal, working class people, not the people who make decisions about uranium.
replying on Angel by abecedarian
7 Aug 2003, 5:28 PM
It is definitely the way you've presented this angel, with her fragile limbs and her glowing skin, that is creepy. If I did a word association with "angel" I would probably say "fat baby", because some toilet paper commercial would come to mind.
replying on Angel by abecedarian
6 Aug 2003, 8:07 PM
Unfortunately, I got the same transparent alien/praying mantis impression of this angel.
replying on There can be only one by Shardik
6 Aug 2003, 8:03 PM
Damn you, every time I think I have worked out who you and your various personas are, there is another I'd never noticed. You ever been evaluated for dissociative identity disorder? But anyway, these two stranded on a boat poems work well together.
on TimeShifter by DreamMachine
6 Aug 2003, 7:12 PM
Did you mean to play on the word "perish" by misspelling it as parish? If so, I approve. But you should fix the spelling of ignorance to make parish look more purposeful.
on Puerto Rican Tequila by Don-Quixote
6 Aug 2003, 7:07 PM
I grimace in pain at the taste of tequila too. I think this gets good at "i don't wish to see again", but the preceding lines need some rethinking, though they have their good parts. Also, need apostrophes "skull's gray flesh" and "cannibals' barbecue"
on There can be only one by Shardik
6 Aug 2003, 6:58 PM
Is "Jeremi B. Handrinos" your father or son? Are you purposely being confusing about whether the father or son survived? At the beginning, the father said to the son "I'm sorry you'll go", but at the end, father says "My deadweight a ton" "left you with none in a boat you can't row". Your quotation marks were a little inconsistent, even though I could tell you were setting off the mantra "There can only be one" I think some other things the father said should've been in quoatation marks.
on Perfection Forever by odon919
6 Aug 2003, 6:44 PM
I hope this is a joke.
on Bon Voyage by Jeremi B. Handrinos
6 Aug 2003, 6:37 PM
Well written and funny. I wasn't sure about this
"In this lifeboat with you?" second line's question mark. Was that because you weren't always "with" the person? Maybe it should say "In this lifeboat with (?) you" because it is definitely not a question.
"In this lifeboat with you?" second line's question mark. Was that because you weren't always "with" the person? Maybe it should say "In this lifeboat with (?) you" because it is definitely not a question.
replying on Angel by abecedarian
6 Aug 2003, 5:14 PM
Shardik, I do believe that zero was undeserved, if you reread, you will see that Abe C.'s narrator actually intervened on behalf of the alien angel.
on Angel by abecedarian
6 Aug 2003, 5:12 PM
What couldn't you see, the angel or the angel's face? "It" doesn't really work there, even if you are trying to keep the angel's gender a secret.
I thought that was a pretty cool way to say that you did her, the "dark" violating her, and you protecting her.
I thought that was a pretty cool way to say that you did her, the "dark" violating her, and you protecting her.
replying on A Circle Starts with C by rusty
5 Aug 2003, 7:22 PM
Thanks for cleaning up the typos. I was thinking that you were creating a new word that combined "fine" and "phallus" to make "phine" because you were throwing your "phine" at the mattress. (The mattress, I believed, probably deserved it.)
You deserve more 10's.
You deserve more 10's.
replying on Karma by http://mulberryfairy
5 Aug 2003, 7:17 PM
Thanks. You must have an especially clickity tongue ring.
replying on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy
5 Aug 2003, 7:14 PM
I don't care about what he did to religion and church, I have been an athiest since my mother couldn't answer my philosophical questions at the age of 6, but I do appreciate that what Henry VIII did to religion eventually led to divorce being okay, and eventually allowed women (and even a handful of gay people) to become active in religion, if they choose. I mean, what if we were still living like those Catholics of his time, women being viewed as corrupted by the devil and unclean, women having to address their husband's formally, etc. I know people think that culture now is too liberal and that the institution of marriage is falling apart, but I believe it is evolving for the better. (Couldn't get any worse, could it?) Thanks for the 9.
On a nonfiction note:
On my 11th neglected birthday
my parents forgot me
at the YMCA after closing hours
(with their phone off the hook
until the janitor had to give me a ride home
at the hour of 10 o'clock.)
It is too painful to even attempt to rhyme. Sniff.