I'm liking it a lot better than I did the first time. I couldn't comment last time :P It side tracted a lot...one thing to another and back with conterdiction.
Congrats on making it much better. I'm giving you a 9. I can relate to it.

Interesting format. Wish I could give you a little better vote. Because it is a good poem...but the repeat of words last to first is a petpev of mine. Just because I won't do it doesn't mean I shouldn't respect someone who does...so what the heck...another 9

line four -- "I konw" type should be "I know"
last two lines -- you could say so much more with less. Perhaps "Where all the earth's warriors,
Have died and joined him."

Or go three lines
Again in the brillany night sky,
all the earths warriors,
Have died and joined him.

Just my opp here hun don't take it to heart. Hope it helps some how :) *hugs* I'm still giving you a ten... I really like the idea.

I enjoyed the poem. I think line one needs to be tweeked a little or what was the purpose of it? "you are dreamer" I almost didn't read on due to that being the first line. I just see my four year old neise saying that to me.

I like it. It really made me think. Took me in, put me there. I saw the images, feel the feelings. Keep up the good work.
I'd give more than 10 if I could.

I was really enjoying it until then end. Was all serious then it went into "haha I'm trying to be funny."

"be manifest" just doesn't sonud right either.

Awww how cute your diaper is leaking. Interesting poem man... here's an 8

in the meantime
I'll keep typing
to amuse myself
and unload some baggage

maybe I'll stumble over perfection on the way
****************

That sums up what I've been reading in editors notes lately. A lot of editors say that poetry is getting longer and dragging on with everyone typing this day and age. Its just so easy for them to keep typing and typing I've found it to be true. Its all to easy to just keep going. It was never like that when I was hand writing everything.

I believe the poem would say as much if not more taking the lines from above totally out of it. Or maybe...

In the meantime
I'll keep working towards perfection,
Perhaps stumble upon it along the way.

No one says anything about it because they're perverted and want to look at it ;):P

The last two lines just don't seem to fit with the first six.

About six months to a year depending on the people. Lust is purely sexual no other basic involved :P

Very interesting.

I'm thinking you needed to get away from the “ave” its meant for cruising. This poem... well its a bruising on the eyes. I can rhyme. Look I’m a poet and didn’t know it maybe I should publish a book.

Yes my comment is as bad as the poem. *does a little dance*

I'm not much of one to judge sonnets.. but it was interesting... I liked it. Paints the story quite clearly.

*laughing* I love it. 10

sounds like you need to get some new glasses ;)

Nice poem hun. I've read them all but just haven't commented or voted. I should be the dead man swinging huh?

Interesting. Almost like something I would write... maybe *shrugs*

mulberry is right with what they said. It does need a little work. I can't judge much though due to all my working sucking as of late. I can understand everything you're saying to well. I just got out of a relationship a few months ago that was just like what you wrote about. Felt the same way. -9- (Only because it brought back the memories I had once felt)

You're right it was good. I was expecting something simple so didn't quite follow it the first time. Second read was much better had an understanding of everything that way. Thanks for suggesting and sharing.