on Birth, school, work and death. by darby pyn
15 Jul 2005, 8:22 PM
The ending lines were like rapid fire- but climatically worthy. Were you disregarding where the line breaks fell? It seems like this would be more poignant if one didn't have to scroll around to read the lines, and if the line breaks were placed strategically.
on When the World Forgets by TLRufener
15 Jul 2005, 8:17 PM
I agree with jessicazee, you talked about a kind of pain, but I couldn't really empathize- even though I imagine it is real, in some respect, for you/your narrator.
on Only I wish I could say.. by PunkyPanda
15 Jul 2005, 8:14 PM
I didn't see the happy ending coming.
on Why I Bother by empire942
15 Jul 2005, 8:11 PM
I stay awake at night thinking about whey too, when I am not thinking of bulgar or tempeh or grape tomatoes or heartbreak.
on Moving Up by jessicazee
15 Jul 2005, 8:01 PM
nice collage of details
on Inoculation by bamf909
15 Jul 2005, 7:58 PM
funny, you should do public health commercials
on Winter Lands: I by http://bandgeek
7 Dec 2003, 6:59 PM
Winter Lands: II
This winter,
a new land to explore,
suburban chickens
peck over frozen ground.
Salt water freezes on bluegreen estuary banksâ
sloping glaze, as inviting as a waterslide
in spite of eternal, internal struggle of salty ice.
Clots of snow form on stilled river
like frothing yeast in lukewarm water.
Gentle spray over the dam freezes
into frosty stalagmites:
upside-down icicles reaching toward clouds.
The traffic on Main Street
comprises of privately owned
pick up trucks with yellow plows attached
on their way to rescue those who can pay.
Shovelers relocate dense snow,
one 12 x 16 x 8 inch rectangle at a time
the satisfying fulfillment of
metal scraping gravel struggles to be heard
over obliviously aimed snowblower motors
who fan their plumes of snow onto
shovelersâ now diminutive accomplishments.
In this land,
it is so easy.
Let the car hide under that mass,
safety is not the certainty
of an accessible city bus every fifteen minutes.
Safety is hibernation behind storm windows
among flannel and housecats,
feeling assured,
there is nothing to do out there anyway.
This winter,
a new land to explore,
suburban chickens
peck over frozen ground.
Salt water freezes on bluegreen estuary banksâ
sloping glaze, as inviting as a waterslide
in spite of eternal, internal struggle of salty ice.
Clots of snow form on stilled river
like frothing yeast in lukewarm water.
Gentle spray over the dam freezes
into frosty stalagmites:
upside-down icicles reaching toward clouds.
The traffic on Main Street
comprises of privately owned
pick up trucks with yellow plows attached
on their way to rescue those who can pay.
Shovelers relocate dense snow,
one 12 x 16 x 8 inch rectangle at a time
the satisfying fulfillment of
metal scraping gravel struggles to be heard
over obliviously aimed snowblower motors
who fan their plumes of snow onto
shovelersâ now diminutive accomplishments.
In this land,
it is so easy.
Let the car hide under that mass,
safety is not the certainty
of an accessible city bus every fifteen minutes.
Safety is hibernation behind storm windows
among flannel and housecats,
feeling assured,
there is nothing to do out there anyway.
on museheart is internationally published by scitz
9 Sep 2003, 9:42 AM
It is called "the dozens".
on I Usually Wear Pants by razorgrin
9 Sep 2003, 9:39 AM
And why would they?
on (limits of ambition) by richa
9 Sep 2003, 9:34 AM
Is this a rewrite, seems like I've seen part of it before. Nice job.
replying on canto di desiderio by Bill Z Bub
9 Sep 2003, 9:22 AM
Sì, è limitato, ma quello fa parte del divertimento!
on canto di desiderio by Bill Z Bub
8 Sep 2003, 8:06 PM
La parte che ha tradotto correttamente era bella. L'ultima linea avete detto, "Sapete that urlano for you". Elaborereste su questa linea?
on A Lovely Surprise by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
7 Sep 2003, 4:56 PM
I love the "crisply laid stool" part. They don't make toys like they used to!
replying on (untitled) by http://bandgeek
7 Sep 2003, 4:50 PM
postmodern? Ich auch.
replying on Babelfish Poetry (I): A pérola (Português) by Geschäftsreise
7 Sep 2003, 1:42 PM
na klar! Ever read DAvid Sedaris' "Me Talk Pretty One Day"?
on My Id and I by William Delacroix
7 Sep 2003, 1:34 PM
Very nice. I liked the simpler sections "My id and I..." contrasted with the more explanatory stanzas, and how the id induced desires lacked punctuation. You could turn this in for a Psychology 101 assignment.
on Babelfish Poetry (III): Segen (Deutsch) by Geschäftsreise
7 Sep 2003, 1:22 PM
Welcher bist du? Reisender? Arbeiter? Denker? Schöpfer, oder alles? Selbstportrait?
on Babelfish Poetry (I): A pérola (Português) by Geschäftsreise
7 Sep 2003, 7:19 AM
Welcher Fremdsprache? Nicht italienisch oder spanisch?
replying on (untitled) by http://bandgeek
7 Sep 2003, 7:10 AM
Du bist kein Deutscher, Freund. Keine "Infidelity" von diese Sprache. "Infidelity" ist Ehebruch. Aber, deine Nummern sagen "vergelten", und Ehebrecher.
on Babelfish Poetry (II): Rendu plus Doux (Français) by Geschäftsreise
7 Sep 2003, 6:45 AM
beau, dans cela a maladroitement traduit la manière.