on Killing Ben Afleck by Shardik
5 Aug 2003, 2:33 PM
I needed to smile today
on some deleted poem
7 Aug 2003, 2:52 PM
I was at a reading last night and someone told a story about this guy in this bar who jumped up on a table whipped out his dick and started to slice at it with a butterknife; thought you might enjoy that.
8
8
on some deleted poem
6 Aug 2003, 2:25 PM
First of all I must say that my mother's side of the family were vaudevillian's. I'm not sure how I feel about "poof" at the end of the poem, it seems to me that you could say it another way especially since I really enjoyed the flow of the rest of the lines. Side thought (and you will have to forgive this one because I'm not wearing my glasses) when I first read the line "no not shy like a fox" I read "do not shy like a fox" and for some reason I thought that was an interesting direction. take it for what it's worth. good poem
on Karma by http://mulberryfairy
5 Aug 2003, 2:25 PM
I love "frenzied victim" I had to read this poem a few time out loud because tounge hit teeth so nicely.
on Ode to a Fox Cub by http://mulberryfairy
5 Aug 2003, 2:19 PM
what I enjoyed most was the vision of humanity and nature the questions and statements that were given. I very beautiful peice
on Mi Casa es Su Casa by <~>
2 Aug 2003, 10:40 PM
I wanted to change my comment given the state I was in last time.
I like the use of romance and then the line "I take whatever comes to me" it's a wonderful vision that everything is prey and a meal. I would almost like to see more of that through out the poem. My question is what formula, there physical strength or the ability to make a thread? I must say the last line draws me in very much and I left feeling whole.
I like the use of romance and then the line "I take whatever comes to me" it's a wonderful vision that everything is prey and a meal. I would almost like to see more of that through out the poem. My question is what formula, there physical strength or the ability to make a thread? I must say the last line draws me in very much and I left feeling whole.
on Grampa Morris by http://bandgeek
2 Aug 2003, 10:52 PM
very powerful: the images the emotions. When reading poetry it is always hard to not think of the writer as protagonist. I must say I enjoyed this especially the end there is a childlike essence that is so desperate in us all.
on Mi Casa es Su Casa by <~>
31 Jul 2003, 11:29 AM
Since I now what your writing of I feel I have an unfair advantage. There needs to be more length (not in reference to the poem but to protagonist) The use of force, the speed of the kill. The power and presure of this wonderful creator. I really enjoy the ice cream shop and the piles of husks, though I'm a little confused by "the inchor inside me..." I'll have to show you my pictures.