replying on Bri's Room (not done) by Sunshine Conkey
16 Dec 2005, 4:57 AM
I'm 26. Apparently you did mind my asking, so forget it.
replying on Bri's Room (not done) by Sunshine Conkey
13 Dec 2005, 2:11 PM
Do you mind my asking, how old are you?
on Captian, Doctor..Father by celticskatermatt1
2 Jun 2005, 4:36 AM
Please consider making the following revisions:
standing => squatting,
basking => bisqueing,
buttons => buttocks,
Captain, Doctor... Father => Master, Doctor?... Father?
standing => squatting,
basking => bisqueing,
buttons => buttocks,
Captain, Doctor... Father => Master, Doctor?... Father?
replying on Recycled Stardust by Quarton
6 Jul 2004, 10:26 AM
This entire argument could have been avoided if Quarton had used the word "model" instead of "reality". However, he was forced to use the word "reality" because popular science books always use the word "reality" because "changing realities" sound much more exciting than "changing models". Thanks.
replying on Unwed by gilded in gold
20 May 2004, 9:34 AM
I don't believe you have a Master's in Poetry from an accredited Poetry School.
on The Tony Blair Which Project by wilco
18 May 2004, 12:40 PM
I like the way you have an incongruous lewd in the middle! It shows you have the guts to tell it like it is, and screw anyone who can't take the truth.
replying on LOVE-ABOVE LISTE by Everyone
18 May 2004, 12:29 PM
a) You're a talentless nobody.
b) You haven't written any poemes that rhyme 'love' with 'above' you dunce.
b) You haven't written any poemes that rhyme 'love' with 'above' you dunce.
Q: What do you call an epileptic holding a glass of milk?
A: A milkshake.
Q: What do you call an epileptic in your bathtub?
A: A jacuzzi.
Q: What do you call an epileptic in your garden?
A: A seizure salad.
Q: What's the ultimate doom for a leper?
A: An epileptic fit.
Q: What does an elephant use as a vibrator?
A: An epileptic
Q: What do you throw to an epileptic who is having a fit in the bath?
A: Your laundry.
A: A milkshake.
Q: What do you call an epileptic in your bathtub?
A: A jacuzzi.
Q: What do you call an epileptic in your garden?
A: A seizure salad.
Q: What's the ultimate doom for a leper?
A: An epileptic fit.
Q: What does an elephant use as a vibrator?
A: An epileptic
Q: What do you throw to an epileptic who is having a fit in the bath?
A: Your laundry.
No. No, no, no, no. What you've got here is "An impossibly cliched, absurdly misguided exposition about the differences between humans and computers, littered with notation so baffling and unlike any sensible environment that the reader is almost convinced he is having a terrifying, unwakeable dream in which he is forced to understand code written in the worst language ever about the most suffocatingly gay topic ever". How you confused that with "programming", I've no idea.
replying on nothingtoanyone by Everyone
7 May 2004, 4:22 PM
I didn't write this before yours, you bloated fuckwurst. If you had the tiniest amount of sense behind your bum-like face, you'd have compared the dates before gushing your ignorance all over the steps like some foul lost hobo.
on Everyone by nothingtoanyone
6 May 2004, 1:42 AM
Nice to see a poeme about me at last.
Your friend,
Everyone.
Your friend,
Everyone.
replying on evolution 9 by wilco
26 Apr 2004, 3:18 AM
What about Adam and Eve? Evolution suggests we evolved from apes. And what about the fact that evolution has occurred over millions of years, but the Bible says the world is only a few thousand years old?
on An Astonishingly Fast Way to Learn Dutch by -=Fat_Penis=-
11 Feb 2004, 5:36 AM
Informa\tive, Imaginative and ultimately fuffilling a splendid return to form from -+Fat_Penis=-.
replying on His Master's Jodhpurs by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
23 Jan 2004, 8:42 AM
CHAPTER XXV
IN WHICH THE READER SHALL FIND LITTLE TO DO WITH THE STORY, AND MAY, THEREFORE, SKIP
Imagine the look of sheer terror on my stupid face as I opened my post this morning. I say 'this morning', when really it was more like 'late afternoon', having spent the night before eating the new Walker's Chicken Tikka Masala flavoured crisps, and having been woken, most improperly, at noon, by a bedder who does not fully comprehend her lowly place in this world. Thus roused, I whittled away the early hours of the afternoon drinking coca-cola, scoffing Sainsbury's Frosted Flakes, chuckling at Matthew's comment on 'Broken', and painfully lamenting the rather paltry number of posts my work is attracting of late. It was only because I had to return a DVD that was two days overdue that I eventually oozed out of my bedchamber and felt my way to the Porter's Lodge. There I found a pouch. However, it was not empty: it was quite, quite full.
Therein, to my delight, a treasured text with such whimsical chapter titles as: CONCERNS ITSELF MAINLY WITH A HAT, THE ONE-LEGGED SOLDIER, and, best of all, HOW I TALKED WITH A MADMAN IN A WOOD BY MOONLIGHT. Truely a most exceptional find.
Should you ever feel the need to have it back, I would gladly reluctantly return it.
As Ever,
Epsom Brown
IN WHICH THE READER SHALL FIND LITTLE TO DO WITH THE STORY, AND MAY, THEREFORE, SKIP
Imagine the look of sheer terror on my stupid face as I opened my post this morning. I say 'this morning', when really it was more like 'late afternoon', having spent the night before eating the new Walker's Chicken Tikka Masala flavoured crisps, and having been woken, most improperly, at noon, by a bedder who does not fully comprehend her lowly place in this world. Thus roused, I whittled away the early hours of the afternoon drinking coca-cola, scoffing Sainsbury's Frosted Flakes, chuckling at Matthew's comment on 'Broken', and painfully lamenting the rather paltry number of posts my work is attracting of late. It was only because I had to return a DVD that was two days overdue that I eventually oozed out of my bedchamber and felt my way to the Porter's Lodge. There I found a pouch. However, it was not empty: it was quite, quite full.
Therein, to my delight, a treasured text with such whimsical chapter titles as: CONCERNS ITSELF MAINLY WITH A HAT, THE ONE-LEGGED SOLDIER, and, best of all, HOW I TALKED WITH A MADMAN IN A WOOD BY MOONLIGHT. Truely a most exceptional find.
Should you ever feel the need to have it back, I would gladly reluctantly return it.
As Ever,
Epsom Brown
replying on His Master's Jodhpurs by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
22 Jan 2004, 10:29 AM
Do you think it reminded you of Poe because a basically identical scene happens in 'The Tell-Tale Heart'?
on Sprouts From the Jar by hatedestruction
22 Jan 2004, 9:58 AM
Absolute tosh.
replying on My deepest thoughts by poetandknowit
21 Jan 2004, 1:54 PM
Why don't you fuck off, with your generic, nasal European accent, and your tedious intrigued facial expression. You make sure to ask a question in every lecture in your thin whining voice, and smile. You make sure to nod whenever the professor says something you agree with. IT'S A FUCKING MATHEMATICS LECTURE. STOP NODDING YOUR HEAD YOU FUCKER.