on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2003, 7:19 PM
This poem is the sublime of pimpliness and verbose insipidity.
on sharkmouth by Bill Z Bub
11 Jun 2003, 10:12 PM
You are one nasty mother-fucker. Sweet.
on No Tomorrow by mikehi
17 Jun 2003, 6:17 PM
Stop preaching.
on Me, Myself and I by gracefulangelofsin
17 Jun 2003, 6:14 PM
very prosy and far too generic. Be specific and for god's sake give yourself some kind of form to work with. This is screaming for constraints and direction. did you read this after you posted? After the tenth line the grammar is awful.
I feel... that's the same as a painter writing the word green across a canvas. The poet's job is to make the reader feel. Not to say I feel, I feel. Describe the violence. "People" which people. Either tell me or forget about it. This pussy-footing around is useless.
I feel... that's the same as a painter writing the word green across a canvas. The poet's job is to make the reader feel. Not to say I feel, I feel. Describe the violence. "People" which people. Either tell me or forget about it. This pussy-footing around is useless.
on Shut Up (Angry Progression) by thepinkbunnyofdoom
17 Jun 2003, 6:19 PM
This is pointless. Where's the story? You don't know shit about poetry do you?
on Claustrophobia by INTRANSIT
17 Jun 2003, 6:35 PM
Funny, yesterday I was in Dutton's in Brentwood, and I too was so overwhelmed. Four giant rooms reeking of paper and binding. You know the kind, stacks on the floor, wooden ladders for reaching up up up into the nethersphere. Classical music. Anyway, I swooned when I walked in. I had to sit on a pile of encyclopedias with my head between my legs. My friend Scott fanned me with the newest copy of The New Yorker. Poets! We give so much power to the words. Jesus it's like an axe coming down. The last line is genius, all those esoteric implications. Bravo.
on some deleted poem
17 Jun 2003, 6:40 PM
They? You? Whozits? Whatzits? what is up with the non-specific finger pointing on this fine afternoon? Can someone please give me some idea what they are going on about? Everybodies angry but no ones willing to make poetry out of it. Where's your form, Where's your direction? What is your motivation here?
on Goddess of the vineyard by INTRANSIT
12 Jun 2003, 7:39 PM
When they're ready she just walks away? Are you sure?
My brain hurts. wow. Poignant at the end but difficult to follow at first, put me off a bit. That "'Gap' cap" thing you do at the beginning there is also a big turn off. Do you really need it? Can you make it, I don't know, more... I don't know. I think that line just needs to go. I'll look at it again later.
Overall I thought it well written.
Overall I thought it well written.
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2003, 11:35 AM
So you hate people because they're gay? How open-minded of you. How, shall I say, poetic? Yes, you hater of Ganus, that is the reason, the only reson, the pristine primo reason for hating that scoundrel.
Well let me tell you, -=Dark_Angel=- is a supreme roll in the hay. He likes his girls in multiples. He makes me cum.
Well let me tell you, -=Dark_Angel=- is a supreme roll in the hay. He likes his girls in multiples. He makes me cum.
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2003, 12:12 PM
Just a pointless catastrophe, is right. who gave this an 8?
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2003, 12:21 PM
I love the last line. Green, my favorite. Some errors of flow, grammar mostly.
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2003, 11:37 AM
Eeewww! I stopped after the bodies where set fire to. I'll go back later, when I recover.
on Jellybean Land by JoyLuck
12 Jun 2003, 12:25 PM
My son loves these. He actually ate vomit. I like grass, and dirt tastes so much like dirt, it's satisfying just to know there are flavor engineers taking so much pride in their work.
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2003, 12:29 PM
Oh yeah yeah yeah, someone give this the Golden Whatever Award. 20 kalegun salute. 10's for all my friends!!!
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2003, 8:34 AM
What's "have ironing"? You should try leaving footnotes for the retarded, ala tina. Should be longer, and hence, funnier.
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2003, 8:43 AM
Get rid of the commas please, they're not necessary.
...And I,
A meer watcher,
Amazed and dumb,
I'm deaf and blind,
There is something:
Which I can't hear,...
Just take a look at that. Can you figure out why this doesn't work? This poem is confusing. what the fuck's going on here? Silent toes? As opposed to what? Loud toes?
...And I,
A meer watcher,
Amazed and dumb,
I'm deaf and blind,
There is something:
Which I can't hear,...
Just take a look at that. Can you figure out why this doesn't work? This poem is confusing. what the fuck's going on here? Silent toes? As opposed to what? Loud toes?
on In Your Confusion by Audaciouslilgrl
11 Jun 2003, 10:09 PM
Aaaaaaaargh....
on Ga-go, Part two of that same play, the suspensefull climax. by Jeremi B. Handrinos
12 Jun 2003, 8:07 AM
Keep going.
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2003, 12:30 PM
the oppposite of sublime.