poemranker ::20 most recent comments by zodiac (101-120)

Comments byzodiac, 101–120 back. Include replies

on some deleted poem 17 Jan 2006, 10:23 AM
Great, but - "fascinated with chicken wings"?
on Witch's Brew by ecargo 10 Jan 2006, 7:09 PM
This got better. First stanza needs a rewrite.
on cat by Dental Panic 11 Jan 2006, 3:15 PM
Fabulous. This poem should be best on poemranker. It's your best, certainly. Eminently publishable, Dental.
on Intestinal Splash by cyan9 11 Jan 2006, 9:32 AM
Overkill.
on The chestnut by richa 10 Jan 2006, 8:27 AM
I liked the original better.
on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy 10 Jan 2006, 8:28 AM
Anne Boleyn is the easiest historical figure.
on Daylight at Dawn by D. $ Fontera 10 Jan 2006, 7:07 PM
Of all the things just for rhyme in this one, "if not to read one more?" is the most worrisome.
on The copper man and Labrador by Caducus 11 Jan 2006, 9:35 PM
The latest victim of the multiple self-voting bug. So sad, Caducus. So sad.
on Do 20 always make this poem sense? by Prince of Void 17 Jan 2006, 10:20 AM
This poem does not make sense.
on Racism 2 by Dovina 14 Jan 2006, 10:47 AM
I cannot fucking believe you're still doing this. Please, for once take the hint: YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT MINORITIES. YOU DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW ANY BLACK PEOPLE. EVERYTHING YOU WRITE ABOUT THEM COMES OFF SOUNDING INSANE.
on Racism 2 by Dovina 14 Jan 2006, 10:50 AM
In short, if you want to improve your poetry, consider selling your house in Orange County, quitting your job, and moving somewhere with real ethnic balance, like Charlotte.
on Racism 3 by Dovina 15 Jan 2006, 4:10 PM
They did, didn't they? Add a stanza: How is what she thought TRUE?
on A tribute to our most precious Pearl by amanda_dcosta 17 Jan 2006, 10:13 AM
Good work, Amanda. I especially like the first and seventh verses (though "did be" should just be "were"). Nice.
on Reap by ecargo 17 Jan 2006, 10:14 AM
This is really great, biteme. My only suggestion: wreathe should be wreath.
on They Knew Me From Adam by D. $ Fontera 17 Jan 2006, 10:17 AM
Lose some of the throwaway phrases and commentary - "But, of course, it is harder than you can imagine," "over, yet again," the last bit. Otherwise, nice.
on angst of the saints by calliope 17 Jan 2006, 10:39 AM
A publisher's eye is defined by what sells. That is, what people buy, what they like. Don't make it publishers' fault.
on some deleted poem 17 Jan 2006, 10:10 AM
Change one of the "answered"s. The last stanza is great, if coming a mile off.
on Sky All Around Me (goddess edit) by ecargo 17 Jan 2006, 10:28 AM
On a Friends rerun I saw last night, there's a morbid zoo custodian who addresses an opossum as "enigma of the trees, upside-down denizen of the night." This reminded me of that a little.
on A Haiku by amanda_dcosta 17 Jan 2006, 10:33 AM
1Tell 2me 3more, 4tell 5me 6more
1A 2hai 3ku's 4some 5thing 6I 7don't 8know.
1A 2-5 3-7 4-5 5or 6so?

Nice. A good commentary on the limitations of haiku-length.
on regret by FreeFormFixation 17 Jan 2006, 10:43 AM
"Integration" and your children makes this about schools' racial integration. The rest makes it about not letting go of the '20s.

I know what you're saying. "Integration" is what needs to go.