Re: a comment on the monster by oneglove	17-Oct-04/5:13 AM
I think it's sad no one has pointed out that the parallels between Dr. Frankenschmiel and his creation and God and his creation ARE THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT of Mary Shelley's famous novel The Hopeless Adventures of Dr. Frankenschmiel. You all fail.
Re: a comment on For Beth, after anal intercourse by zodiac	12-Oct-04/5:12 AM
Speaking of wheelchair-bound cripples, Christopher Reeve's dead.
Re: Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17	11-Oct-04/5:32 AM
Honest question of the day: Is a target - presumably a shooting target - really ever intended as a shield? By whom?
Re: Room 34 Ashford Hospital by Caducus	11-Oct-04/5:26 AM
I've found that effectively parodying this poem requires changing fewer than ten words. The last line, especially, should be changed to: with brine-shrimp tearing at my eyes. I do hope someone gives it a shot.
Re: a comment on One True Instant by Dovina	11-Oct-04/4:10 AM
Who said I spent any time on it? Oh, you did. Dim response. PS-your third stanza is very poorly (and superungrammatically) phrased. See if you can find out why.
Re: a comment on One True Instant by Dovina	10-Oct-04/5:00 AM
Sure it is. You just don't believe me because I say mean things about you all the time and because you have some kind of uninformed notion that "real criticism" is something people do in parlors, maybe, or cafes with really-good-but-not-too-loud stereo systems where people (or better "a community of interested and artistic individuals") gather afternoons over lattes to discuss others' "work" in enthusiastic, incisive, and playful but generally polite and supportive ways - or, barring a suitable nearby cafe, then in some "online forum" where "serious" and "likeminded" amateur writers gather. This is just bunk. And if those places and people do exist in any worthwhile manifestation, I promise you they're not talking or caring much about each others' writing, or very much interested in hanging out with the kind of person who goes in for that stuff. They're probably just smoking pots and giving each other really really hard times. Of course, they sometimes point out some glaring mistake in somebody's writing or, I don't know, make a suggestion or something; but there is no "ongoing discussion" or "pure forum for presenting and evaluating ideas" or whatever the hell you think, except among old dim gays trying desperately to act like they imagine "real" critics and poets acting and mostly being bored to death and doomed to neverending obscurity. If you're interested in those places, I'll in all honesty show you where they are. But please believe me, they're the most rarified homogenized orgies of self-glorification and utter boredom ever. That said, I hope you don't think it doesn't occur to me occasionally to point out some problem I notice here. I get whims sometimes. For example, the "standing" thing seems rather poorly-considered. There are a ton of better verbs which describe what shoulders do; I'm sure you can think of some. Also, that lack of punctuation makes your poem seem kind of amateurish and affected when it might otherwise not. And also, you've got a serious bad habit of constructing sentences in a way that's probably what you imagine being artistic and eloquent (but isn't) instead of worrying about making them grammatical or even particularly intelligible. You might try being aware of it in the future. And before you say anything else, this is real criticism, or as real as it ever gets, sister. So SUCK ON IT!!!!! SUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKK ONNNNNN ITTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!11!1 Yours truly, zodiac in Karak
Re: a comment on One True Instant by Dovina	10-Oct-04/3:14 AM
It's not that. I just don't see shoulders as standing. Even after seeing it in the poem and being a relatively imaginative person, I don't see it. But if you're just going to get all huffy and hurt any time I try to offer some real criticism, that's fine by me. "understanding of the situation" is a pretty dumb way to say something.
Re: a comment on Death's Invitation by eliastemplar	9-Oct-04/2:58 AM
I love the expression "the battle to win hearts and minds". It's such an ace manly way to describe breaking the traditional melon in the company of old men so sexually overwrought (from oppressing all their women into nonexistence) that casually resting a hand on your thigh while insisting on calling you "Habeebi" (or whatever the Farsi equivalent is) is the closest they've come to orgasm since the Taliban outlawed men's undergarments. That, and it's just a fucking hilarious thing to say, whatever the situation. PS-The people here (AND their neighbors) are constantly plotting to feed me goat-meat doused liberally with goat-yoghurt (skinned goat-head included). And today on the bus, a kid in high-school plotted for almost a half-hour to say "Hello, what's your name?" in English, though I happened to be having a conversation in Arabic with the bus driver at the time. Weird how different things are for us, huh? Sincerely, zodiac Karak, Jordan
Re: a comment on One True Instant by Dovina	9-Oct-04/2:35 AM
I suppose as long as you two are achieving mutual (if not simultaneous) orgasms then I should be happy for you, as really very few people are afforded even that. But I'm not - happy, I mean. This whole conversation strikes me as rather empty and sad and kind of just endlessly repeating "hey people get different interpretations from different things! Weird, huh?" and then sighing these big undeserved postcoital sighs that everyone else in the restaurant frankly finds more than a little bit disgusting, like getting off on cutting or weird anal insertions - that is, you only can by being a little bit self-involved and susceptible to suggestion. As far as this poem goes, why did you say the shoulders were "standing", instead of some other, better verb? And why isn't anything here punctuated?
Re: a comment on I Win. by LintyWeenis	9-Oct-04/2:15 AM
Whatever do you mean?
Re: The Ganing Pyre by Enkidu	6-Oct-04/4:55 AM
This is what poetry should be.
Re: a comment on I Win. by LintyWeenis	6-Oct-04/4:50 AM
As far as the "one" thing goes, it strikes me that the best (if not the only) reason to use "one" in a sentence as you have is to give it some kind of polite, educated, abstract quality. Since you'd already said "As we were questioning etc etc", that was already gone all to shit. Using "one" in some sentence here is fine, if that's your thing. But using "we" and "one" in the same sentence (to mean approximately the same thing, at that) just sounds gay. Re: "I suggest if you believe the use of 'one' and other pomposities on this site is to make the writer appear scholarly then it is you who are the dim." That's not at all what I said. I said you were using them to appear scholarly, and by incorrectly using them you were making yourself sound dim instead. With that middle bit, I'm going to suppose you're not trying to quote me, since if you are, you're the world's most floundering turd. Re: "a more chilling reposte to your boast would be that we have a doctor on this site. And his name is doug." Chilling indeed. Here's a bit selected more-or-less at random from dougsoderstrom's oeuvre: "I agree with you as you do have a very good point. However, as you can see, I did make provision for your well-made point in that man, having been "melded into society/socialized/brain-washed" is, I feel, moved, by the evolutionary force, to cooperate with those within "his own family" (his national group) in order to defend himself/his group of fellows by killing the enemy.......... in order to survive." And I don't know what boast you're talking about. I don't remember claiming to be anything on this site except a recent Grad Student in an Accredited Poetry School, Heir to a Milwaukee Jerky Czarship, and a current teacher of Retard Islams in Karak, Islamland - all but one of which is true.
Re: Dublin, 4-10-04 by myles	4-Oct-04/4:55 AM
The Hughes and McDannells In Glasgow wear flannels, The Marches in Carisle wear tweeds; But all of them doff 'em For Foul Sue of Poffham And seem (but aren't quite) the same breed.
Re: a comment on A Frosty Fistful of Haiku by HaikuMofo	4-Oct-04/4:23 AM
What the hell do you think English is written in, if not alternating vowels and consonants? I propose that you just heard something about haikus somewhere and decided you'd splatter it anywhere haikus were involved without thinking really hard about whether it made any sense. In fact, I double-dare you to find me a haiku (transliterated, if possible) which demonstrates a skillful use of an alternating "vowel-consonant pattern". If it's the case - as it might be for all I know - that Japanese is intrinsically more alternatingly vowelly-consonanty than English, then what the fuck do you expect? That anyone who wants to write a haiku should write it in Japanese? Hey, what a magnificent idea!!!!!! PS-"this ebbing story of hope for an unlikely romance" is fucking beautiful.
Re: a comment on I Win. by LintyWeenis	4-Oct-04/4:13 AM
"whether the statement 'Kenneth Tynan was a good critic' is true" is not what we were questioning. We were questioning whether "The best poets are surely the best critics." That whole sentence is improperly phrased, ungrammatical, and needlessly ambiguous. You might just have said, "As regards the statement 'Kenneth Tynan was a good critic', your 'is bow'ls' means approximately the same thing as 'is not true' (or some other such negation)." At any rate, this is still not the case. "Is bow'ls" is an affirmative statement, simply describing the condition of being like a bow'l, I imagine. And you don't know how to use "one" correctly. You just think it makes you sound kind of scholarly and hard to argue with, when it really just makes you sound pretty dim. "Anything other than ass hat" is not what I said. Please, try to quote me correctly. As far as I can remember from undergrad Intro to Logic and Proof (Course Average: a respectable B+), the converse of something is not negative. And what you're talking about isn't really a converse, anyway, so just shut up.
Re: a comment on I Win. by LintyWeenis	2-Oct-04/3:28 AM
"The PS question, well it did have effectively two negatives (anything other than) and (is bowl's). " Wrong.
Re: a comment on I Win. by LintyWeenis	28-Sep-04/8:23 AM
"to prove good poets make good critics requires one to name good poets and not good critics" is obviously not the case. The set of {best poets who also happen to be best critics} should be exactly the same as the set of {best critics who also happen to be best poets}. That it's not is set to be the enduring smudge on the underclothes of your repute here. Give it up. I asked if you knew one good critic because I think you're talking entirely out of your ass, not because I care whether your argument is true or not (I know it's not.) PS-My last PS is two sentences. Do you find "Obviously 'statement X' is bow'ls" to be inordinately complicated?
Re: a comment on I Win. by LintyWeenis	27-Sep-04/4:28 AM
Maybe you should try explaining it to yourself, you fucking numbwad. You just botched it all over. Now, before you go spitting all over the place, clunking your head on nearly every thing, please take a look at your comment of 19-Sep-04 and tell me which of the dimtard parts of your above "syllogism" most closely matches your blundering rambles of that date, and which one you were supposed to be proving. And if you're thinking of mouthing off about the musical proficiency of bumming the constable again please take a long flying run into a very near wall. PS-Obviously "Kenneth Tynan is anything other than an funny shaped pole-hat" is bow'ls. Why don't you try naming me one good critic?
Re: a comment on AIDS in a Glass by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	24-Sep-04/5:45 AM
That's not at all what this poem is about or for. My guess is that it's about glass safety and the desperate efforts of homos to get off by anal insertion - neither of which problems, in my opinion, receives the media attention it needs. Thanks for trying, though! And hey, welcome to poemranker!
Re: a comment on Jarooomeee by klosterfobik	24-Sep-04/5:39 AM
I've just checked the last 300 posts by horus8, aka Jeremi Handrinos, aka Baba Yaga, aka et cetera et cetera, and found your accusations to be true. If you're ready I'm willing to back you up in approaching nentwined about this serious misuse of poemranker resources. Please send a draft protest letter to my email address, which is posted on my personal homepage, here: http://www.aineotheos.org/ Thanks for your courage and dedication to the ideal of poemranker, Your friend in Christ, zodiac The-Krack, Islamicka