on Remember by NinjaPoet
22 Jan 2003, 8:24 AM
Good stuff.
on quarantine agenda by crin
22 Jan 2003, 8:10 AM
sounds like Cadacus.
on To Find the Words by loneshadow29
22 Jan 2003, 12:13 AM
Awwwwww. Sweet. Have you run out and fallen in love. Paxil is the secret to success
on some deleted poem
21 Jan 2003, 5:40 PM
I thank you advance for your kind reply.
on some deleted poem
21 Jan 2003, 5:40 PM
I thank you advance for your kind reply.
on some deleted poem
22 Jan 2003, 7:05 PM
This is not a sonnet.
on some deleted poem
22 Jan 2003, 8:01 AM
Definitely not in your top ten. "Doom and gloom", "Cuts the silence", "poisons my blood like parasites", "saints and sinners": weak and cliched language.
on Hermes Trigamestus (was not a monk edit) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
28 Jan 2003, 2:35 PM
Well, at least you still have the day job. Or is it done at night?
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2003, 2:53 PM
This could be really good with some minor work.
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2003, 1:54 PM
Good thing it was just an exercise, huh!
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2003, 10:44 AM
What the hell is mem'ry? Great use of both weak adjectives and cliche. !!!!
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2003, 10:56 AM
You used "burning" twice. That is genius. And what a great use of profanity. Keep up the good work!!!
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2003, 10:24 AM
this poem does have some nice lines. but it falls into that voice problem that you so often have. In this you use "you", "We" and "i". Is the we universal? or is it the "you" and "i" combined. It is unclear. And you start the poem out about a "you" who we do not know and the center it around the "i", losing the point of opening with the "you". Plus, why do you have to tell the reader all these things. What does being as real as a toothache have to do with anything? WHO is "WE". Needs work. Needs focus.
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2003, 10:27 AM
Are you trying to justify why this is so bad by putting the "oh, but I was only a mere lad when I penned this shite?" I was just asking, of course. No hard feelings, eh?
on Broken Tomarrow by DreamMachine
22 Jan 2003, 1:15 PM
Interesting spelling and use of grammar.
on some deleted poem
22 Jan 2003, 7:46 AM
Sounds like something better suited in a journal, but I see it was a young attempt.
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2003, 10:50 AM
Great title!!!!!
on 1969 by w~* ATHENA *~w
22 Jan 2003, 12:17 AM
Give it up.