on Cover song by bondjedi
28 Jan 2003, 3:26 PM
How exacty is this a haiku?
on amanda by famenglory
28 Jan 2003, 10:50 PM
Is this about Amanda?
on Unpleasant Morning by liljsmith87
28 Jan 2003, 3:25 PM
Great rap and rhyme!!!!!
on A Day, Wasted by Joyleaf
28 Jan 2003, 3:36 PM
Great use of the "statement". Fantastic use of telling rather than showing. Great use of "Party" three times in less than 40 lines, dude.
on some deleted poem
30 Jan 2003, 11:51 AM
Still in the exercise process? Let's hope so. Odd phrasings, awkward rythms, and weak wording in places. But that is what being a hard hittin' street poete is all about.
The title of the film should be in quotations not apostrophes. That is unless you put quotations around what the character on the answering machine is saying, which would be proper and justify what your are doing at that point. Is "Weneverlaughedsohard" (note proper use) a word. I looked it up and it was not in the dictionary.
on some deleted poem
29 Jan 2003, 11:04 PM
This poem drools with sentiment that lacks thought beyond intended greeting card mentality. Maybe you should actually trying think about the poems you write instead of driveling all of the time. Send this to any competent magazine in the world, and tell me I am wrong for saying these things. You can tell you read and wedding and funerals. That is about the gist of the depth here. But, hey, the sentiment is nice.
on some deleted poem
29 Jan 2003, 11:11 PM
Exceptionally weak use of adjectives. You even use "warm" twice.
on a poet in the city by Bill Z Bub
29 Jan 2003, 11:19 PM
din't - is this a new word or a typo? The last part sounds like you could rap it. Are you one of those hard hittn' street poete's?
on some deleted poem
29 Jan 2003, 11:23 PM
Great use of cliche. Great use of no punctuation and lower case words. Great use of an uninteresting and overdone topic in the same uninteresting and overdone way as everyone else that writes pimple poems. Keep up the good work!!
on Guilt by Freethinker1602
28 Jan 2003, 10:17 PM
You reached really deep into the crap bin for this one, huh?
on Breaking Away by wickedemon4
28 Jan 2003, 10:04 PM
Best biking movie ever made, although if you notice when he it topping 50 plus MPH behind the semi he is in his small chain ring. But, hey, it is a movie. It is sad you titled such a bad poem for such a great sports movie. Shame on you.
on A Puzzling Girl by Imperfections
28 Jan 2003, 10:11 PM
A nice concept but I think the overall effort need more thought.
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2003, 10:14 PM
Why did you put this propaganda here? This is a poetry site.
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2003, 3:23 PM
Nice first stanza, but I just do not think to overall product holds together. And what is an 8 cup?
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2003, 3:30 PM
Wow, great overuse of the common adjective. Great use of trite thematic structure. Fantastic implementation of the cliche. Wonderfully banal. Keep up the good work.
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2003, 10:20 PM
Wow, it is like dyslexic jungle fever.
on Dr. Skellington by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
28 Jan 2003, 11:33 PM
You are the one true king of the Masonic order of odd balls.
on The Thought Of It by Christof
28 Jan 2003, 11:39 PM
Still the best poem on the site. I would kill the all cap thing, but damn, who cares, this is just good. Had to come read it again.
on missing time by Bill Z Bub
28 Jan 2003, 11:30 PM
The flip flopping of voice and context is awkward. There a a few nice lines, but there is still work to be done here.