on some deleted poem
26 Oct 2004, 4:28 AM
fucking hilarious
on some deleted poem
25 Oct 2004, 7:51 PM
an absolutely wonderful treatise on soup
on Lost by Sweet Cheese
25 Oct 2004, 7:54 PM
melancholic? sweet cheese is a good name.
on repeated sins, repeated prayer by oneglove
27 Oct 2004, 5:25 AM
you are so weak.
you are so inadequate.
you are so inadequate.
on some deleted poem
27 Oct 2004, 5:32 AM
what, or whom was this person "laying"?
on Who is deserving of all my love by zodiac
26 Oct 2004, 4:08 AM
this is excellent. In stanza 8 perhaps you mean flinch when you write flich? or is flich a word I have never heard?
on Old Friends by breeza123
26 Oct 2004, 4:30 AM
unspeakably daft.
on Withering Rose by Imago
26 Oct 2004, 4:44 AM
i think that the home/beauty line is the best in the poem. it makes perfect sense to me...that where beauty has made residence, it will never stay, but always move on to find new residence. Beauty does not construct, but rather make "something" her home. I think it works.
whether this is true or not, I cannot exactly say, nor do I particularly care.
I like the theme, and I think the language is well used in some parts, but, overall, I think you need to pull in the reins a little, as much of this feels over the top, but perhaps the "floweriness" of the language is apt after all. what the fuck would i know?
anyway, i think the ending is good, if a bit overplayed and somewhat cliche.
whether this is true or not, I cannot exactly say, nor do I particularly care.
I like the theme, and I think the language is well used in some parts, but, overall, I think you need to pull in the reins a little, as much of this feels over the top, but perhaps the "floweriness" of the language is apt after all. what the fuck would i know?
anyway, i think the ending is good, if a bit overplayed and somewhat cliche.
on AIDS in a Glass by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
26 Oct 2004, 5:07 AM
shame you could not work "tars" into this somehow.
on Harvey the Dolphin Sucker by T. Jonathron Remp
26 Oct 2004, 10:54 AM
comment by Richard E. Watley
just beautiful
just beautiful
on some deleted poem
26 Oct 2004, 10:59 AM
i like my fright well salted. This and the redundancy already pointed out aside, the mood creation is effective.
on some deleted poem
26 Oct 2004, 11:28 AM
is it possible to reap what is already dead? Or would that just be collection? Great ending
on some deleted poem
26 Oct 2004, 11:30 AM
though i would suggest, "i pondered the robin's plight" "on" seems out of place and the to capitalize "Robin" makes me think of Batman.
I pondered the robins' plight and we both searched for a new home.
I pondered the robins' plight and we both searched for a new home.
on Grandma in love by Caducus
26 Oct 2004, 11:36 AM
a wicked and inspired jug solo
on Grandma in love by Caducus
26 Oct 2004, 11:38 AM
i would suggest "new" in place of "anew"
also, "fall" in place of "falter"
a 10 anyway
also, "fall" in place of "falter"
a 10 anyway
on some deleted poem
28 Oct 2004, 5:56 AM
one step forward, two steps back? Now, where have i heard THAT before?
on Delicate Was by klosterfobik
28 Oct 2004, 7:01 AM
i had intended to rank this poem on its merits, but then I read the comments. adverb indeed. -0-