on some deleted poem
20 Jul 2004, 9:47 AM
fake tits in a baggy sweater.
on some deleted poem
20 Jul 2004, 9:49 AM
i like it
on some deleted poem
28 Jul 2004, 7:57 AM
does she have a penis?
on some deleted poem
28 Jul 2004, 8:13 AM
i think that one "never" would work better
on some deleted poem
25 Jul 2004, 7:07 AM
I like the slow sad understated tone, and there are some really good turns of phrase contained.
At the park where we
Use to listen to
Concert bands 'til dark, now
Nothing sounds in tune
this, in particular, feels just right, except, I think used instead of use. or perhaps just: at the park where we once listened....
it is difficult to pull of the old, "you're gone, I'm sad and alone" theme in a poem, but I think you have done it pretty well.
At the park where we
Use to listen to
Concert bands 'til dark, now
Nothing sounds in tune
this, in particular, feels just right, except, I think used instead of use. or perhaps just: at the park where we once listened....
it is difficult to pull of the old, "you're gone, I'm sad and alone" theme in a poem, but I think you have done it pretty well.
on peanut butter sandwiches on a hot summer day by w~* ATHENA *~w
25 Jul 2004, 7:30 AM
did you spread it on toast? or did he shoot it in too deep?
on some deleted poem
24 Jul 2004, 5:39 PM
A kyrielle sonnet is 14 lines of iambic quatrameter broken into 3 quatrains and a final couplet, the end of each containing a repeating phrase.
This is a typical rhyme scheme: aabB ccbB ddbB aB
This is a typical rhyme scheme: aabB ccbB ddbB aB
on some deleted poem
21 Jul 2004, 12:36 PM
oi vey...such a chubby this gives me.
on some deleted poem
21 Jul 2004, 7:18 AM
great screen name. i have no fucking clue about the poem.
on I dreamt a white Black widow by INTRANSIT
20 Jul 2004, 9:44 AM
where da white womens be at???
excellent cockrings and machineguns...staccato whispers.
excellent cockrings and machineguns...staccato whispers.
on Four and a half paragraphs of silence by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
20 Jul 2004, 9:45 AM
unspeakable
on Poor Unwritten Rabbit by Dovina
20 Jul 2004, 10:03 AM
why illumine and not illuminate?
on some deleted poem
15 Jul 2004, 9:31 AM
estomos should be estamos
y lo encontro...encontro should be encuentro or encontraste unless you mean he, she or it found it, in which case...encontro'
y lo encontro...encontro should be encuentro or encontraste unless you mean he, she or it found it, in which case...encontro'
on some deleted poem
15 Jul 2004, 10:54 AM
nuestro futura should be nuestro futuro.
on some deleted poem
13 Jul 2004, 7:27 AM
sweet fern raises a question that i cannot answer. are ferns sweet?
on some deleted poem
13 Jul 2004, 7:29 AM
a triumph
on A Girlâs Climax by Dovina
12 Jul 2004, 5:00 AM
I cannot imagine what one could find ambiguous about this poem.
on some deleted poem
12 Jul 2004, 4:57 AM
well...i think the poem is average. but you should get many 10s from god's children
on some deleted poem
11 Jul 2004, 6:16 AM
yah. life....strife....i couldn't go on either. sorry.
on some deleted poem
11 Jul 2004, 6:18 AM
you know not what to say...indeed.
perhaps a little heroin would get you started.
perhaps a little heroin would get you started.