(untitled)

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 8 comments

all the times that we spent together and then the times we spent apart we seemed to be closer than could be but then you broke my heart you took my hand and seated me in your lap i looked into oyur eyes and saw somehting was wrong i got angry before i even knew what was up the truth unfolded itself..it didnt take long he told me he loved someone elsehe told me it was his best friend i hated her from the start but i was so apathetic i had no strength to defend the defend that he loved me so i sat there an stared at him in silence i felt the anger swell in me and alls i knew was the violence the violence of my reaction suprized even me i cried and carried on..he must have thought i ws crazy but he stayed there..till i was all cried out he had a look on his face that said, "that didnt faze me" all of a sudden i got an unbeatable strength and i punched him as hard as i could i didnt feel like being there while he just stared the blood started dripping as i knew it would i walked away from him i walked away from our memories, our fights i walked away from the hurt and all the tears i walked away from the caresszes so light it was over and done i never wanted to see his face i cant think of the things he must have done anytime i wasnt there in any place

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8 comments

[1] anonymous 19-Sep-01/12:33 AM Reply

"and seated me" -> "and sat me"; "alls I" -> "all I"; Hmm. I know that pain. The rhythm/flow/grammar could use work, though.

[1] ifni 21-Apr-02/2:05 PM Reply

Arg! Line wrap!!

[1] anonymous 9-May-02/2:27 PM Reply

Attention: webmaster. Please fix the HTML code on this one. Good story. I don't like how you glorify violence, though. That's really nasty. In English, there is no word "alls." Just say "All I said was," or "All I did was." You can edit the poem yourself on this site. By the way, I hope you forget about this loser and meet a real man. You sound like an interesting, passionate woman who any real man would be happy and grateful to be with. Take care.

[0] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 13-May-02/1:46 AM Reply

Thank you! I'm so glad that these sentiments have finally been expressed in verse, and in such a witty, flowing way! I hope you continue to have profound and meaningful experiences, and move us all with your poetic recitations of them!

[7] necroscope7 10-Jun-02/6:51 AM Reply

Fix the formatting, it makes it very hard to read.

[n/a] waltfreakinwhitman 15-Jul-02/3:22 PM Reply

Excellent work . I have no idea what this is about but I am inexplicably moved .

[5] kthulah 25-Jul-02/3:08 AM Reply

The html tags did not work.

[5] emrldeyz79 16-Sep-02/2:31 PM Reply

MAYBE WANT TO REWRITE IT SO YOU DONT HAVE TO SCROLL ALL THE WAY ACROSS TO READ THE THING....