Free verse № 128977
End of Me
What happened to us?
I use to want nothing more than to share time with you
spend the night ,be held in your arms
I use to love your smile and your quirky laugh
I use to love your calm nature and sense of family
I use to see you as strong and protective
gentle and sweet,open and generous
I use to love you with all I had inside me
and wish you understood how deep it was
I use to love how you looked in my eyes
and made me feel innocent and beautiful
I use to love leaving you love notes to remind you
when I wasnât there for the next morning
but time went on and I changed
I became frustrated at your lack of goals
I became tormented that my love was
too deep or not deep enough
I became hurt that you didnât want to commit
I became pained that you did not understand
what you meant to me, and never would
I ached in sorrow that âUSâ would never be
what I spent all these years dreaming of
so I stopped trying, and now, here you were
ready to wed and give my dreams the reality
Iâd longed for and I was so desperate,
not to give up all those years I made you
my dream come true, my everything
and we went on to create a family, and home
but old hurt became bitterness, and I feel alone
You stopped wanting my happiness and became
self absorbed and selfish, unfeeling and cold
itâs been 6 years and I am so hollow and lonely
tears are like a constant river deep in my heart
and I canât stop it from flowing
We havenât shared covers in over a year
and you just seem happy to have them all to yourself
We share a beautiful child and it pains me
he never sees the love, that we once shared
Iâve lost my passion, and my will to try anymore
You never consider my feelings or how your
actions impact them, and my ability to go on
pretending that itâll get better....someday
when you want to share a bed with me
when I might mean that much to you
and stop doing drugs, and using them
as though theyâre your salvation from
the misery of being with me
and youâll take care of yourself
and care how you look for me
like you did when we were young
and youâll want to be romantic
and passionate, just to see me smile
like I havenât done, for so long
I forget what itâs like when itâs not
just a mask to disguise the river
still flowing, deep in my heart
thatâs destroying me
and the person
I once use to be
when we first met.
6 comments
When I was adopted I inherited a great family,Grandma taught me well and my elders
17:13-17:15 Koran
And We have made every man's actions to cling to his neck, and We will bring forth to him on the resurrection day a book which he will find wide open:
Read your book; your own self is sufficient as a reckoner against you this day.
Whoever goes aright, for his own soul does he go aright; and whoever goes astray, to its detriment only does he go astray: nor can the bearer of a burden bear the burden of another, nor do We chastise until We raise an apostle
I know exactly what Arabs say for "hot" and "cool", slang and otherwise. In fact, I'm pretty weak at standard and Quraanic Arabic, spending most of my time communicating in a slangy dialect my wife and I call Arabic Jive.
I use to> I used to (corrected), the sparse use of commas needs fixing. It needs many commas, (end of line 2)and periods at the ends of sentences. "be held in your arms(.)" 'your quirky laugh'(.) or (;)
'love, that we once shared'> take out the comma.
'and wish you understood how deep it was'> and wished you understood...and wish you could have understood (?)...needs a change here.
The use of 'became' became monotonous, consider mixing in some other words in place of 'became'. ("I used to" did not get on my nerves with its repeated use, but maybe you could use other words in some places of its use, as well.> "I once" or "Once, I" "In time's past")
"and now, here you were"> now says now, so should be "and now, here you are", or change, to> "and then, there you were"
I was so desperate,
not to give up all those years > I was so desperate to not give up all those years. (take out the comma.)
became bitterness, and I feel alone> became/felt or becomes/ feel.
Drug became his mistress...get rid of "her" or him, or you will be the next casualty. (And maybe losing you will be the push he needs to get the help he needs, and Maybe, somewhere down the road, he will find his way back to himself...and you. Maybe then you won't want to devote the time to him, maybe you will. Take care of you...if you don't, who will? And if not for yourself, then for your child.)I gave you an 8 for content.
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