Free verse № 145430
Water
Born with her water on his face,
freed from umbilical shackles
he was named âMadoowbeâ
I wanted to share that with you.
His father was a green man.
He left black women red
leaving life and death in wombs
and kinder death to men from blade.
âMadoowbeâ and his Mother walked for water,
taking turns to walk in their shadows
Until the shimmering turned blue
and sand was bludgeoned by hooves.
When Madoowbeâs Mother got sick
she went to the white man who took her blood,
days later she died with water on her face
her name was âJamilaâ
I wanted to share that with you.
Madoowbe walked for water.
Gazelles had wiped away his Mothers footprints.
He took his blind Grandmothers hand
spilling water in her mouth,
he wanted to share it with her.
2 comments
Verse 1 needs a period after line 3.
Verse 3 could lose the quotes around his name, I think.
Verse 4 needs the space removed before "s" and a comma after "sick" and a period after line 2 and a period after Line 4.
Verse 5 needs an apostrophe in "mothers" and "Grandmothers" and a comma after Line 3 and a period after Line 4.
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