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Purgatory of Consciousness

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 7 comments

Beauty lies in my cold blue eyes Deep somewhere inside Look too hard you might fall in My vast open mind My heart longs for the touch of compassion For the piercing complexities of understanding Thoughtfulness astounds me Empathy reveals me The tightly wound darkness welcomes me My thoughts linger in the night Waiting for the dawn to enlighten me Drifting through time and space Lurking beyond infinity.

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mean 4.21 weighted 4.25 rank 13169 views 161 View voting details →

19 votes so far. Yours would make 20.19 votes so far

7 comments

[5] nentwined 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM Reply

I like the stoccato ending of "me" on the last lines. Going back from that, "for the piercing complexities of understanding" reads too long as a line, and doesn't flow into the next bit -- some punctuation might help that. I really like "look too hard you might fall in ... My vast open mind" :)

[5] anonymous 9-Sep-01/4:22 PM Reply

...*wow*...

[5] anonymous 23-Apr-02/9:27 PM Reply

Sorry?

[0] beakism 9-Jun-02/8:08 AM Reply

maybe not.

[6] horus8 17-Jul-02/12:46 AM Reply

I've got that game it's better than Devil may cry. (play stat 2) rocks, But nothing beats a couple of stand up pinball games in your playroom.. oh, and tempest.. oh, and foosball.. oh, and a six foot bong, nitros, a couple toungue hits, and forest Gump in three-d (just in case there's no spaghetti westerns on). a moment please for the outlaw Josey whales.f

[0] poetandknowit 16-Aug-02/10:10 AM Reply

tightly wound darkness - nice
rest of poem - not nice.

[6] josiefiend 30-Oct-03/5:10 PM Reply

It's a nice poem, but it leaves me wanting punctuation or breaks, something.