Maria's ways on how to deal with puberty!

BOYS AND GIRLS STEP RIGHT UP THIS IS NOT A POEM, BUT READ IF YOU CAN: You wake up one morning probably one of those important days and what do you see a good old spot on your nose it's big it's fat what to do? Oh what to do....you want to grab a knife and get rid of it once and for all, no no you musn't what you may do is grab that old clerasil and go crazy put a bit on then get that stuff from body shop that burns the shit out of the motherfucker. You've started your period and your scared, you know that if you tell your mum she'll make a fuss and tell the whole family so what to do? Grab one of those things and stick it on your panties or what about a tampon, but damn that looks painful, solution: Go to your mums cabinet and grab a sanitary towel and dont tell a soul. Your a guy and your outside walking you see this really hot girl that looks like jlo your good old friend stiffy pops up OH NO!!! A.)You run B.) You turn around a pretend you haven't seen her C.)You let stiffy get on with getting excited, you see jlo look-alike coming over to you,your like what the fuck so what the hell let willy be free it's only natural. You see this really fit lad on the same shop you're in, trouble is your shooping with your mum for thongs and bra's you see him checking you out he smiles and comes over and then your mum shouts, ''Maria I've found some great pump up bra's for you.'' He laughs at you What to do.... solution: Punch him and leave him completely unconcious so he won't remenber a thing. You're in the cinema with your girlfriend and you really need to fart, you asked to be excused to go to the loo you stand up TOO LATE!!! you fart right in her face with noise and all what to do? RUN, RUN, RUN LIKE CRAZY. Your in a Craig David Concert, oh my he chooses you to go on stage with him, YES! when you go up and go beside him you see him staring at you weirdely and damn everyone at the concert is laughing at you then you notice you have your skirt in your knickers what to do solution: Give craig david a snog and leg it. Your with your girlfriend and are about to snog her then you smell her breath and damn it smells u feel like your gonna puke you remenber the mints you always carry thank you god you offer them to her without hurting her feelings she sees the mints and slaps you on the head what do i have bad breath??? She runs mm solution:SEARCH FOR ANOTHER GIRL YOU'VE BEEN DUMPED