poemranker ::The Medium of Dunce by Ranger

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Other № 150083

The Medium of Dunce

by Ranger

Member since 2002 · Posted 12 Feb 2007 · 15 comments

She sits upon the pavement; stares at glass As Fortune comes to settle in her hand. She'll speak the spirits' tongue and understand Not why the spectres make their stony pass Like silent stars in night wind's chilling blast. That gifted speech is scorned by ghost men - and She sits upon the pavement; stares at glass As Fortune comes to settle in her hand Wreathed in smoke, mad eyes which roll so fast See no silk daybreak leave horizon's band. Before her - jokers, aces, hearts are fanned -She sits upon the pavement, lost in glass.

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mean 8.50 weighted 5.94 rank 1387 views 298 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

15 comments

[9] Dovina 12-Feb-07/6:18 PM Reply
I stumbled over the “Not” in line 4. Omitting it makes a better read for me, but you probably have something else in mind, perhaps that she doesn’t understand the visions in the glass, but can only speak them. Also, the semicolons distract, and would better become commas for this reader. I love line 2 = 8. Well crafted.
[n/a] Ranger › Dovina 13-Feb-07/1:58 AM Reply
Perhaps I shouldn't have been so anal over keeping the capitals - it doesn't work without the 'not', I don't think. She's meant to believe that she is perfectly fine, and can't work out why people walk past without acknowledging her. I'll have a think about the semicolons - you might be right there. Thank you :-)
[7] half.italian 12-Feb-07/8:51 PM Reply
I think you sacrafice something here trying to fit your meaning into rhyme. Nice imagery though.
[n/a] Ranger › half.italian 13-Feb-07/1:59 AM Reply
Sorry, this is a rondel so the rhymes gotta stay.
[10] deleted user 13-Feb-07/6:06 AM Reply
This is really good Ranger--one of the better posts I've seen in a while. I love the rhyme scheme--it's smooth and unforced; an excelent piece of writing.
[n/a] Ranger › deleted user 16-Feb-07/3:14 PM Reply
Thank you, Paul :-)
[6] nentwined 15-Feb-07/6:41 PM Reply
Hmm. Interesting, maybe something clever, but both over and under told...
[n/a] Ranger › nentwined 16-Feb-07/3:14 PM Reply
"both over and under told..." -- how so?

I don't know that it's particularly clever, I just wanted to muck around with a rondel for fun.
[8] drnick 17-Feb-07/9:23 AM Reply
What is this shit? Just kidding. I like the repeated lines.
[n/a] Ranger › drnick 19-Feb-07/1:21 AM Reply
Where are you hiding, doc? Send me an email or something.
[8] drnick › Ranger 21-Feb-07/10:25 PM Reply
I'm hiding in the (in)sanity of my boring existance. I sent you an email a while ago titled, "I wonder if we will get in trouble if the title reads INTERNATIONAL TERRORISM." Did you get it? It would be funny if that was somehow flagged, and we were placed on some government watch list. Anywho, I'll write you soon.
[n/a] Ranger › drnick 22-Feb-07/12:56 AM Reply
You did? It never came through -- maybe Microsoft really have reported us to the FBI. You cannot imagine how much I'd love that ;-)
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 19-Feb-07/5:31 AM Reply
It is no Fortune that comes to settle in her hand. Does a few pence a day afford a beggar luxuries beyond his wildest dreams? Yes; yes it does. But will it buy enough wipes for him to retire unsoiled? No, it will not. The stain that comes from a life spent foraging for dung is a moral one. You can no more cleanse it with wipes than you can teach a Welshman to lay his droppings at the bottom of the garden. The only cure is far beyond the means of even the most arrogant beggar: a single moist tow'lette.
[n/a] Ranger › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 23-Feb-07/6:37 AM Reply
That's true. Indeed, I may have misheard her drunken mumblings; she might have actually said 'Thank you' in beggar dialect as I accidentally dropped a shiny penny on the pavement in front of her. I could not bring myself to attempt to retrieve it from the bow'ls of hell, so let it be.

That being said, I might remind you that no fortune can ever buy enough wipes for that mammoth task. For the rule of bum is that the severity of soiling is always directly inversely proportional to the number and strength of available wipes. So, by that logic, if a beggar were to come into the modest sum of, say, twelve pounds (sterling) and fifty pence, it would do him no good whatsoever - for at that precise moment in time the local Stainsbury's would sell out of scented bathroom tow'lettes*.

*ecargo was wrong - "tow'lette" is a far better word than "bow'ls".
[10] Quarton 6-Mar-07/12:30 PM Reply
Damn, this is good! I like the rhyme scheme which is unforced and adds to the read and flow. How about a 10 plus.