poemranker ::A Little Life by Tom Colebrooke

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Free verse № 20254

A Little Life

by Tom Colebrooke

Member since 2002 · Posted 14 Oct 2002 · 9 comments

The Humble little Bumblebee, It fly's around oh cann't you see. It comes from yonder little tree, And stings people like you and me. Afterwards it only dies, And makes little children cry. But all I want to know is why, It can't just say a little 'Goodbye'.

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mean 5.50 weighted 5.44 rank 2985 views 225 View voting details →

16 votes so far. Yours would make 17.16 votes so far

9 comments

[10] Katie 14-Oct-02/8:36 AM Reply
Interesting point of view tom...interesting...lol...hehe But I like bumblebees, hehe so I give yeah a 10 =) hehe go bumblebees!!

^..^
=(0)= Meow
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 14-Oct-02/10:32 AM Reply
Because it's a motherfucking bumblebee, that's why. What the hell is wrong with you?
[8] cleverdevice 18-Nov-02/1:08 AM Reply
Excellent. I love innane fun poems.
[8] [mojo] 18-Nov-02/10:37 AM Reply
Hey, we all need something a little light weight once in a while. Amusing, one for the kids .8.
[6] anitawit 26-Nov-02/12:29 PM Reply
The first stanza is sweet, how about working on the second?
[0] T'ien 26-Nov-02/2:05 PM Reply
what is wrong with you people the only good line is "It can't just say a little 'Goodbye'" the rest is BS
[6] anitawit › T'ien 27-Nov-02/12:14 PM Reply
You should know, if anyone should...
[3] deleted user 26-Nov-02/2:14 PM Reply
Well ill give you 2 for effort (all 2 minutes of it) and ill give you 1 for the poem as it has basic (very basic) poetic forms of rhyme and rhythm, therefore i give it a grand total (soo dosnt deserve this much) of 3
[4] nentwined 4-Oct-06/6:02 PM Reply
fly's <-- flies

cann't <-- can't

cute poem, but in something so small the little problems really are mountains. flow/rhythm/etc are off and the rhymes feel forced. :/