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An Exercise in Futility

Member since 2002 · Posted 14 Nov 2002 · Edited 15 Nov 2002 · 7 comments

seeds of darkness planted deep within where happiness blooms but darkness comes consuming all things he fought so very hard to keep the darkness at bay to keep his precious sanity but in the end it all proved futile for now there is nothing left no joy, no life at all only an endless void a hollow shell where a proud man once stood

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7 comments

[0] horus8 14-Nov-02/12:23 PM Reply

what the fuck ever. seriously in all actuality you are a total fucking tarpuffer lonedisco29and ahalf..obviously the loose bowels of an over weight turnip..even dark angel has more trajectory..well.. even anthony robbins has more class than this and that shite head is classless...sorry for fogging up your glasses, but come on... you are grasping at gophers on a dark highway in minnesota..let go man...just let go. here..a hug. 0. this isn't even a real poem it's a fucking advertisement aimed at something called jealousy...drink a diet shasta..i recommend...boysenberry.

[5] Frass 14-Nov-02/1:51 PM Reply

Lnshdw, even this sort of poetry should probably steer clear of the word 'nothingness'. Makes me wonder why we don't have the word 'somethingness'.

[8] vulcan 15-Nov-02/2:40 AM Reply

very much like "sanity's defeat".but I guess there's no more a "one day".it's for that 'he's tombstone.7

[8] vulcan 15-Nov-02/2:42 AM Reply

I think if you use past tense(fighted/proved)the sense of nothingness will become more oppressing in the poem.

[n/a] loneshadow29 › vulcan 15-Nov-02/8:32 AM Reply

thanks for the suggestion vulcan... it does sound better in past tense :o)

[8] vulcan › loneshadow29 15-Nov-02/9:25 AM Reply

I revoted.(sorry for fighted!)and you did the right thing about that website.thanks.

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 15-Nov-02/9:46 AM Reply

"a hollow shell
where a proud man once stood"

How pithily that speaks of mine own experiences. Oh beloved prawne! How I miss you!