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Caged

Member since 2003 · Posted 3 Jan 2003 · 6 comments

Pounding against the cage Like a beast inside Breaking free Living to die Memories of afar Where they will never go Here to stay Forever alone Living to serve But only one master Love and hate show no mercy Waiting for the time after Sores of pain Bleed from inside A tiny prayer is said Wishing to die Escape from cruelty On the inside Cracks of pain Cry out with no shame The torture has no end One after the other They come to die In front of millions Who dare to cry One tear is shed Nothing ends Alone here forever Until the time is end Pounding against the cage Yet nothing is inside Only memories Of past Which will only hide Covered up from all that wishes to see The torture Until set free

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mean 4.29 weighted 4.81 rank 11020 views 89 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

6 comments

[5] <{Baba^Yaga}> 3-Jan-03/3:43 AM Reply

once at the zoo last year the orangutan covered himself with a blanket, and wouldn't let no one see him, all day every day for like a month..it was funny stuff i tell you..quiet and eerie, than they brought in a specialist who said he needed a mate, now they are both under the blanket. wating for everyone to go home...true, but back to poetry.this is a...struggling peace, salmon like to swim upstream to feel the resistance, and earn the pussy...but if you turn one down stream he'll just find a pool to die in..also true. so GET OUT OF THE PULL, AND SWIM SWIM! that was a metaphor aimed at helping you write better poetry, do not try to do a jack ass stunt, and pool hop nude with a salmon tied to your guppie.that would be mobile poetry, and possibly land you in jail. e

[6] Caducus 3-Jan-03/9:12 AM Reply

Like the subject, quite like the poem but how impressed I would be to read it completely from the animals perspective, now that would earn maximum points, I might have a go at it - see I'm inspired !

(Went to see the chimps once as a kid and they chuked their shit at everyone gawping at them, THATS POETIC JUSTICE ) good day sir heres a 6

[6] Caducus 3-Jan-03/9:28 AM Reply

just read that your only 18, I am 29 and have written poetry since I was 14, this is quite mature for your age. Keep choosing subjects that interest you, try to avoid forcing yourself to write.
Some good advice: accept constructive criticism from the users on this site, most are cool only a few are vacuous twats, there will be some users you will hate to begin with but they are the ones you will respect as most are honest, some very crafty, some will decimate your work, some wont, sometimes the vote system will confuse you, sometimes a top poet will give you a 10 and another top poet will give you a zero, its all about taste, pathos and whether you are respected. Try and be courteous by offering critique on other peoples work. Their are some hidden diamonds on this site and one day when we're all dead we'll be rich.

Good luck, now I'm off to lose another game of football

[n/a] TxMstng02 › Caducus 3-Jan-03/10:53 AM Reply

Yea I am only 18, but ive been through alot in my life thats why it may seem a bit mature. This poem isnt about animals as such, i should really let you all know that. Its about humanity. Slaves, ect.. Showing how the black slaves (or even jews) were punished for no reason, suffered the pain, treated unfair and put to death. I know its seems a strange topic to write on.. i feel strong about this subject though. thanks for commenting.
love, jax

[5] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 3-Jan-03/1:43 PM Reply

Beautiful. Simply beautiful. 10!!!1

[9] wOrnella Mutiw 4-Jan-03/3:23 AM Reply

I like it..I don't get the low scores. Read mine about genital mutilation.