poemranker ::What Do You Want From Me? by Bonehiss

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Free verse № 44348

What Do You Want From Me?

by Bonehiss

Member since 2002 · Posted 15 Mar 2003 · Edited 22 Aug 2003 · 7 comments

Your wit is sharp, Like a needle in my eye, As I fall to my knees Adorned in agonizing disfigurement. What do you want from me? You ask in mock innocent bewilderment, Laughing inside like a gibbon Gone mad in the forest. You watch me cling To the dark pillar Of my self loathing, Adding the final touch With smug cruelty: Can't we just be friends?

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mean 6.00 weighted 5.12 rank 5735 views 249 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

7 comments

[5] OneFingerAnswer 15-Mar-03/1:53 AM Reply
You answered your own question. They just want to be friends. Sucks don't it?
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 15-Mar-03/2:10 AM Reply
I was going to leave a sarcastic comment about the gibbon simile, but I've "altered my consciousness" and it seems really scary.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 15-Mar-03/2:11 AM Reply
It reminds me of the Egpytian ghost train in Chessington World of Adventure.
[7] Caducus 15-Mar-03/2:55 AM Reply
This is pretty fine, nice touches in this like lines 4/6/7/8, after the needle in the eye a reference to blindness would be cool, think of a metaphor about manipulation or something, eyes are so so vulnerable and so much can be said about them, they see they cry, they puncture, they close, open, roll, go red, grey white fuck me gimme gimme gimme that killer line
[n/a] TanHand 15-Mar-03/11:19 AM Reply
what do you want from me? it's not how it used to be. You've taken my life away, you're ruining everything etc.
[n/a] Rilke4ClosetLesbians 22-Aug-03/11:06 AM Reply
Nice. 6
[10] horus8 22-Aug-03/3:55 PM Reply
Hilarious, as funny as birdman's hero poem easilly.