Other № 46768
Damaged By 'Weakness'
Fear of conditions from the aftermath of intimacy,
Wanting to, but frightened.
Loneliness awaits so patient, so resident,
My amiable nemesis destroying me with familiarity,
Beauty stillborn from denials of happiness,
But if I touch you,
Could I be enlightened?
I keep my eyes open as we kiss,
Go away Father let me enjoy this.
I turn the light off and she laughs,
She turns the light on â I am challenged.
I want to be invisible but feel her touch,
But I am exposed by harsh light,
And she is expecting too much.
I was told that to be hugged is a weakness,
Yet all I felt was a sweetness,
Untouched like the varnish of a newborns palm,
Safe with feelings of weakness,
Yet profoundly guilty, but calm, so calm.
I heard the 5 o clock door in my mind,
And the whistling to tchaicovsky,
Then his purposely loud footsteps on the satin marrakesh,
My welcoming hug,
And his response GET OFF ME,
Alone in this same room with my Airfix models of âSpitfiresâ and Messeschmidtsâ
Angrily shouting TAH TAH TAH,
In this same room I awake,
Still warm I reach out to hold her,
But she is not there
I open my eyes and she closes them permanent,
There is no shame in holding myself,
Although my fingers feel like stinging nettles
I am a river who prays for the mudslide,
A Russian doll unpainted,
Pure but longing to be tainted,
Living alone day to day,
Hoping for that 3 worded cliche,
..................I LOVE YOU !
19 comments
Take care amigo.
As Samuel Butler once said: 'Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat....until he eats THEM.
Go back to channel 16 on your TV, i am quite okay thank you.
what do you want from me? editor's comments, or a woman's comments? or both? rsvp, z
Please ordain me with both. This is about the effect my father had on me being able to get close, one fears one is a tad frigid when it comes to the physical aspects of our desire. When I close my eyes I see my father who never held me, I wish he had, apparently they do, some of them. He wasw not present whilst this one side tenderness occured.
Oh hickory dickory what have I done posting this, should I remove it, will people think I a freak Z?
as for people thinking you're a freak, so what?
i'd rather that, personally. stir things up a bit. maybe get them thinking. so, when i wrote my oedipus stuff, i posted it. personally, i hope they do find me freakish. because i'd rather be that than complacent any day.
it sucks that your dad was afraid to show loving kindness. it really does. but that's no reason you should hold back, especially if you feel yourself wanting to express it. sex is so much better when you can forget about perceptions and enjoy the other person, and how you please each other. lavish it on, piggy. it's good to love. trust me. and girls put up barriers too, so it's a double-fuck until you find someone you can let them down with.
i'll have to give you the edits later. got no time today. send me your email, and i'll send you a more complete commentary. xo, z
I look awfully tired as well maybe I need a hot martell and bed.
wonderful.
Aint Z the best?
..................I LOVE YOU !" you can lose this, because the reader already knows, and if they don't by the end they don't deserve to.
Enjoy your weekends everyone, God Speed!
S-1 line 2 is unnecessary, see line 1.
(would) I be enlightened.
S-2 lines 5/6 repeat 3/4
LIne 8 work into the last stanza
lines 10 and 12 could merge, lose line 11
S-3 you could use "spitfires" to exclaim his response.
the other plane is missing an (r)
(I preferred Stukas, myself)
drop the (but(s)
A river waiting for a mudslide makes no sense (to me)
and I'm unsure about the russian doll(my naivete prob.)
Any way, hope that helps. Oh,also, All the thoughts are there, but they could stand some organizing.
Best I can do for a piece so powerful. b.o.l.
Rich
The river waiting for a mudslide is suggesting that my purity is waiting for the filth that I associate with affection. Once the mudslide occurs I am in a sense purified, normal, at peace with giving myself emotionally and physically. As soon as these emotion emerge again I will take light of your constructive suggestions and re-edit. For now farewell all.
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